


All My Life

by wolfstarwonders



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Birthday, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Build up, Coming Out, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied Masturbation, M/M, Marauders, Marriage Proposal, Muggle AU, Mutual Pining, Party, Pining, Remus Lupin's Birthday, Remus is a swearwolf, Showers, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Spin the Bottle, Tattoos, Weddings, jily, no magic, non magic, sirius pining, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-04 05:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13357269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfstarwonders/pseuds/wolfstarwonders
Summary: James Potter is on a mission to help his dearest friend Remus lose his innocence in the classiest of ways — at a house party on the night of his 20th birthday. This just means Sirius is on an even bigger mission to stop his lifelong crush from ending up in bed with someone who is most definitely not him. But what started out as a schoolyard crush has grown into something even Sirius might not be able to control anymore. Eventual wolfstar, a couple telling flashbacks, and lots of pining.Also, this is my first attempt at a fic in a long time, so please be kind <3





	1. March 10, 1980 — A Night Out

“I don’t know, Prongs. Are we sure our Moony is ready for his first real shebang?” Sirius grinned at James as they got ready for their night of mischief and getting completely sloshed. Saturday nights were never quiet for the Marauders, especially not now that they’d all officially graduated and gotten their first flat together.

“Don’t call it a shebang, Pads,” James said, rolling his eyes and clapping Remus on the back as the taller boy looked at himself awkwardly in the mirror. “And of course he’s ready. The man is 20 years old for crying out loud! I can’t believe we’ve gone this long without taking him to a real party. What kind of friends are we anyway? We owe it to him to make tonight the best night ever. Isn’t that right, Moony?” James finished, stepping into the cluttered bathroom to brush his teeth and continue talking to them through the open door.

Remus shifted his feet, tugging at the neatly pressed collar of his button-down shirt and adjusting the mustard-colored cable knit sweater he was wearing over it. “Mmm...I really think you lot are making too big of a deal out of this,” Remus mumbled quietly, still not sure about going out tonight and going through with his friends’ unpredictable plan. He’d much rather stay inside and have a marauders movie marathon like they had done every night on his birthday for the last ten years. Those were always his favorite. But for some reason, his friends had decided that just wouldn’t do this year, not when he’d just hit his second decade of life and hadn’t even gone to second base with a girl yet, according to James.

“Too much?!” Sirius exclaimed in disbelief, popping up behind Remus to clasp a hand on either of his shoulders and make adoring faces at himself in the mirror. “Remus, you’re celebrating the big 20 today. That’s two — look at me — two decades, mate! You think we’d just let that slip by? We’re going to give you the best night of your life, Moons” Sirius smiled, ruffling a hand through the taller boy’s auburn hair.

“Besides, _dooozens_ of girls are going to be there and you might just get lucky tonight,” Peter chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He also showed up behind Remus in the mirror, having considerable trouble seeing over Remus’ shoulder to comb his tousled hair.

“Oh, how would you even know, Wormtail?” Sirius huffed, jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow. “It’s not like a girl’s ever talked to you anyway,” he snickered. Sirius, despite his enthusiasm about taking Remus out to celebrate his birthday tonight, wasn’t the biggest fan of James’ plan to help Remus pull for the first time. Sure, they were all friends, and he thought Remus deserved to be happy. But he knew his friend better than any of the others—and that was saying something, since he’d practically grown up with James as his brother. He just didn’t think that forcing Remus to go out and hook up with a girl was the way to do it—if he wanted to that is. Still, he wanted him to have as good of a time as possible, and he was all in for making Remus’ 20th birthday a night to remember.

“Hey! I resent that. Plenty of girls want to talk to me,” Peter said, pouting and rubbing at this side with a frown.

“I don’t know, mate,” Remus said. “Pads has a point. Every since you struck out with Mary at the fall formal two years ago, you’ve kind of had trouble picking up any girls,” Remus had to agree, making Sirius smile cheekily and stick his tongue out at Peter over Remus’ shoulder in victory.

Peter rolled his eyes and tried to swat at Sirius, who quickly ducked behind his tallest friend to protect himself before attempting to thwack Peter on the back. Remus shook his head. Tonight was already going smashing, as usual.

“Oi! You lot quit beating the piss out of each other,” James said, walking out of the bathroom and pointing a toothbrush at them all in warning. “Tonight is about Moony, not Pete’s sad excuse for a love life,” James added, going back to spit into the sink.

“Hey!” Peter whined again. “Ah, fuck all of you lot. I should just go to the party myself,” he grumbled, going to get his jacket and wait by the door.

“Hah! That’s a laugh,” Sirius smirked, walking over to Peter and crossing his arms in front of him over his leather jacket. “You couldn’t go to the party by yourself even if you wanted to because I…” Sirius said, dangling his car keys in front of a frowning Peter, “…am your only way of getting there,” Sirius finished proudly.

“Awe, come on. Leave the poor bloke alone,” Remus said, walking up to them once he’d finally decided he’d had enough of fussing over himself in the mirror. Remus looked down at his light brown pants, rolled up to show his argyle socks and chestnut-colored oxford shoes. This was as good as it was going to get, he thought to himself with a sigh. “It’s _my_ birthday and I officially want us _all_ to have a good time," he said decidedly. "That means no fighting, and at least one of us has to stay sober enough to be the designated driver, which I gladly volunteer to do for the 500th time,” Remus reminded them as James came to join them.

“Eh, eh, eh, birthday boy can’t be the designated driver,” James tutted, pressing the keys even deeper into Sirius’ palm. “That’s just a no go. No, old Pads here will be our driver, won’t ya?” James grinned evilly at Sirius. They’d decided days ago that Sirius would be the driver, and by decided that meant they’d flipped a coin and Sirius had lost. Sirius had tried to fight it, but James had pinned Sirius to the ground and made him shout “uncle” until he’d agreed to accept that he’d lost, which hadn’t been easy. In fact, James still had a bruise on his knee to prove it.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Sirius grumbled, opening up the front door and leading them into the hall. “I’ll still have a better time than the whole lot of you because I’ll have Moony by my side, and we’re going to have the time of our lives. Ain’t that right, mate?” Sirius grinned, throwing an arm around Remus’ shoulders as James locked up the front door.

“Sure, whatever you say, Pads,” Remus shook his head with a smile. He really hoped Sirius was right this time.

~~~

By the time their little group had made it to the address James had managed to coax out of a college-aged girl in their building, the party seemed to be in full swing.

“Happy birthday, mate!” James grinned widely, clapping Remus on the back again and pushing him towards the front door. “Just beyond this door awaits your very first glimpse into adulthood. Am I right, mates?” James grinned over his shoulder at Sirius and Peter. While Peter nodded eagerly in agreement, Sirius shrugged noncommittally and pretended to be distracted by something under his fingernails, which no one really seemed to notice other than Remus.

“Guys, really, I love movie nights,” Remus insisted, tugging at the end of his sleeve nervously as he made one last ditch effort to talk himself out of this. He really wasn’t ready for this at all. “Honestly, we can just go back to the flat and pop a movie in just like old times. You really don’t have to go out of your way just for me,” he chuckled awkwardly, not wanting to outright admit he didn’t do parties, or girls much for that matter.

“Nonsense, mate! We’re already here,” James grinned, pushing open the unlocked door to reveal a crowd of college students bouncing around the room in what Remus assumed was dancing. The music shook the inside of the house alarmingly, and a multicolored lamp in the corner of the room shot rays of light across the floor in rainbow colors that made Remus’ head dizzy. A brunette girl in a top that showed her belly button ring wandered by with a drink in her hand. James was quick to try to follow after her, only to be pulled back by Sirius, who reminded him tonight was about Remus. James nodded in slightly disgruntled understanding and sidled up to the tallest marauder.

When Remus looked up from the spectacle before him, the others were all looking at him expectantly, and he managed to force a smile. His best bet would be to stick by their side all night and hope they didn’t try to get him alone with some poor girl who was only talking to him because she felt bad for the lanky nerd in the sweater. Remus knew how people perceived him, and he didn’t particularly want to be subjected to that on his birthday. He wished he could just go home and hang out with his friends like they normally did.

“Come on, I’ll get us some drinks and then you can tell us who catches your fancy,” James winked, leading them all to the table in the back, covered in red solo cups and cans of cheap beer. “This’ll have to do lads. Drink up,” he grinned, pressing a cold can into each of their hands and cracking his own open to knock it back with a long chug. “Alright, so who is it, Moony? Which girl do you want us to help you talk to?” James asked with a smirk, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Remus held on tightly to his beer can as if he could use it to teleport away from here. The loud music and huge crowd were already overwhelming for him. But now James wanted him to name some random girl so he could sleep with her? No thank you, Remus thought to himself with a shiver. It wasn’t that he didn’t like women. He liked them very much. Heck, he’d even kissed a few before and liked it quite a lot — not that he’d ever really told any of the others about that. He preferred to keep his love life private, much like other parts of his life.

He wouldn’t deny that he found a number of the girls at the party to be attractive, but he also found a number of the guys at the party attractive as well. And he wasn’t about to tell any of the other marauders he thought that, not after they’d been hounding him for weeks about how they were going to find him the perfect girl for his first shag. None of this was Remus’ style. But, also, none of the people in front of him really caught his eye in a way that made him want to—as James would so eloquently put it — jump their bones. No, Remus rarely felt that way about anyone.

“I, erm...I can’t choose,” Remus said quietly, looking down at the unopened beer can in his hands and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, as he often did. Sirius always chided him for doing that because it made his lips chapped and red, but he couldn’t help it. It was just one of his many nervous habits.

“Ah, alright, alright, Moony, we get it — still shy. We’ll help you out, though, right boys?” James said, turning to Sirius and Peter for some encouragement.

“Uh, yeah, Moony. Just go for the first bird that catches your eye,” Peter suggested. “We can help you from there. Me personally, I like ‘em blonde with really nice smiles and _really_ big—ouch! What the hell, Sirius?”

“Oh shut up, Worms. You’re an embarrassment to us all sometimes, you know that?” Sirius narrowed his eyes after having elbowed Peter in the ribs again. “What he means to say, my dear Moony, is that you can have your pick of anyone in this joint. You’re a top notch bloke and you shouldn’t worry about getting rejected because no girl in her right mind would say no to a bloke like you,” Sirius smiled, walking around James to place a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

If Sirius was honest with himself, he didn’t want Remus to pick anyone at the party to go home with — except him. He’d been crushing on his best friend probably since secondary school, maybe even longer. And that crush had become increasingly more undeniable since senior year of high school when Remus had hit his growth spurt and they’d all finished going through puberty. Suddenly, the shrimpy boy in his class who fell ill far too often and had trouble talking to anyone but the three of them had grown into a long-limbed male model — though Remus was more likely to liken himself to a spaghetti noodle.

With all the time the marauders had spent together in close proximity growing up and going to pool parties or playing in the lake or just changing in front of each other for one reason or another, Sirius had definitely noticed a change in Remus over the years. He was bloody hot.

And Sirius had never been one to limit himself much in his choice of partners, snogging whoever he saw fit, no matter who they were—as long as it was consensual, of course. But he’d mostly stuck to girls his entire life — as far as his friends knew. And what little the marauders did know about his attraction to men was heavily edited in his retelling of stories to make it seem like the whole thing had been the product of too much whiskey. Still, he’d done a lot more than he let on, and he was more than willing to tell Remus, or even show him a few of those things he’d learned. But that would also involve telling Remus how he felt about him, and the thought alone made Sirius want to vomit all over the tacky tile floors they were currently standing on.

“Thanks, Pads. Means a lot,” Remus said with a forced smile, tapping his long fingers nervously along the side of the beer can now.

“Look, Prongs. If Remy doesn’t want to pull tonight, he doesn’t have to. We shouldn’t force him,” Sirius insisted, his words coming both from a good place in his heart and a selfish place.

Remus knew his friends loved him and wouldn’t dare point out a single one of his insecurities because they thought he was the most fragile one out of all of them. But he wasn’t really sure how they could think that when he regularly wrestled them off of one another. He was also the only one who could actually lift any of the boxes earlier without wanting to cry, but they did. And it frustrated him that the people he loved most in the world saw him in such a light — as so high-strung and weak. He wanted to prove them wrong, and show that he was brave and he wasn’t just this meek, studious nerd they made him out to be.

“I—uh, she looks nice, I guess,” Remus mumbled, nodding half-heartedly to a girl dressed in all black with long, dark hair.

“The goth chick? Dang, Moony, wouldn’t have taken her as your type. But I guess opposites attract, right?” James chuckled, finishing off his beer and tossing the can back onto the table. “Alright, so here’s what you’re gonna do,” James began with a smirk.

Sirius’ heart had sunk a little and his mind began to wander when Remus actually pointed out a girl he liked. While she was cute and looked like someone he’d get along with pretty well, that girl was not him. And that made Sirius want to drag Moony home as soon as possible. But he had to keep up appearances — it being boys’ night out and Remus’ birthday, after all. So he nodded along to James’ plan to chat the girl up and did his best not to grimace at the idea of his lifelong crush flirting with someone else.

One thing that had made it particularly easy to maintain his crush on his best friend for so long without rampaging fits of jealousy over the years was the fact that Remus mostly kept to himself, which virtually meant no competition. And, in this way, Sirius had been able to show Remus affection in the smallest of ways — from baking him a birthday cake when they were 12, albeit poorly, to collecting notes for him all through school whenever he’d been out sick, even though Sirius never even took notes for himself.

But somehow, James had found out that their boy still had his “all-important v-card," as James put it, and of course it had to be a big deal. If Remus was going to lose his virginity to anyone, Sirius wanted it to be with someone who cared about his friend, maybe even loved him...someone like him.

Sirius was snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Remus drifting off from their little group and approaching the girl wearing all black. His heart quickly picked up speed and he turned to look at James, who was cracking open a second beer and nodding at Remus whenever he looked back doubtfully.

“James, where the hell is he going?” Sirius hissed and tugged at James’ arm a little too aggressively.

“Ouch, Pads,” James pushed him off and nodded with a smile in Remus’ direction as he started talking to the girl. “Our little Moony is taking his first step towards becoming a man,” James sighed like a proud parent before tossing back the entire beer in one go.

“Well what the hell did you tell him, you bloody idiot??” Sirius pressed, positive James had given him some ridiculous advice that was sure to get the poor man a slap across the face.

“Ah, quit acting so damn barmy. He’s fine. I just told him — oh, well it looks like I didn’t have to tell him anything at all,” James nodded in Remus’ direction with a smirk. Sirius turned to see his friend disappearing even deeper into the crowd with this mysterious girl close by his side, smiles on each of their faces. Sirius could feel his throat clenching uncomfortably and he bit the inside of his cheek as he followed after them without hesitation. He’d be damned if he was going to stand by and let Remus slip away from him that quickly.

“Moony’s got game, am I right?” James chuckled, turning to give Sirius a nudge. But he was met only with the sight of Peter stuffing his face with chips from the table behind him. So much for an exciting boys’ night out, James sighed. “Honestly, Pete,” James shook his head and made his way towards the dance floor in search of a little more excitement.


	2. March 10, 1980 — A Night Out (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius finds a little more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the second chapter! Thanks to anyone who read the first chapter and is back for more! It was all of your super lovely comments that finally motivated me to continue this. I really want to make this a good story, so I’m excited to see how it comes together and I hope you are too! :)

“Absolutely vile!” the tall girl shouted, slamming the door behind her as she stormed into the back room of the apartment Remus had let his new friend, Marlene, lead him to. Remus looked up with wide eyes at the girl who’d just entered, her dirty blonde hair falling in loose curls over her shoulders. Her cheeks were flushed, illuminating the skin of her pale cheeks as she approached where they sat on the couch, pouring over a large book.

“Dory? What happened?” Marlene exclaimed, immediately hopping off the battered red couch where she and Remus had been sorting through the hand-drawn book of tattoo art she’d dragged him away to see.

“Some total knob tried to hit on me again,” Dorcas huffed, crossing her arms over the chevron pattern of her blouse as Marlene walked over to fix some loose strands of the blonde’s hair. “Honestly, ‘Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?’” she said in a mocking tone and rolled her eyes out of frustration. “ Really?! How much more dense could they get?” Dorcas grumbled bitterly. She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows as she cast a glance over at Remus, who had been watching her and Marlene with curiosity. “Who’s the beanpole?” she asked, nodding in Remus’ direction as Marlene hugged her around the arm and rested her head on Dorcas’ shoulder.

“Erm, I’m Remus—Lupin. I can go if—” Remus began. He started to get up from the couch but sat down again when Marlene flapped a hand at him, gesturing for him to stay.

Remus liked Marlene, but they’d only just met, and she was clearly taken now that he saw the way she got on with Dorcas. The truth was, he’d only come to see her tattoo art, not to hook up, as he was sure the other Marauders would be muddled to hear. Still, there was something about her rock n’ roll attitude and careless nature that he’d instantly clicked with. So, even if he wasn’t getting in bed with anyone tonight, he figured at least he could try and see if there was any potential for a friendship.

“No, no, stay. I didn’t get to show you my sketches,” Marlene insisted, lacing her fingers together with Dorcas’ and leading her over so they could join Remus on the sofa. “Dory, Remus told me he likes my Pink Floyd tattoo,” she grinned, and Dorcas turned her eyes to look down at the familiar stick n’ poke prism tattoo on her girlfriend’s upper arm with a small smile.

“He’d better. You whined like a baby the entire time you were getting it—and afterwards,” Dorcas explained with a smirk. Marlene released her hold on Dorcas and lightly smacked her on the arm.

“That’s only because you’re rubbish at tattooing,” Marlene said, sticking her tongue out childishly, making Dorcas roll her eyes fondly at her.

“ _You_ did that?” Remus asked somewhat excitedly. “That’s amazing! My b—friend, Sirius, loves tattoos. Only has a couple small ones, really. But he’s been looking for the right person to do another. Maybe I could introduce you. He’s here actuall—“ But Remus was cut off by a furious pounding on the outside of the door.

“REMUS! Remus, let me in!” came a familiar, panicked voice from the other side of the door. Even with the pounding music just outside, Remus could hear the edge in Sirius’ voice. He stood up instantly, concerned that something might be wrong, but Dorcas beat him to the door.

“It’s probably that arse I told you about,” she mumbled furiously as she went to confront the source of the knocking.

Sirius had gotten side-tracked as he followed after Remus, having to shake off a girl in a Cheap Trick shirt who had tried to press him up against the wall in the corridor. Desperately running a hand through his hair to calm himself, Sirius had managed to sneak away. And, before he could really work out what he was doing or why he was shouting, he found himself face-to-face with a petite blond who looked just about ready to kick his arse.

“Listen, punk, I already told you I don’t want—oh. Who the hell are you?” Dorcas began in annoyance, but ended confused as she was met with Sirius’ own bewildered expression. Sirius paused and blinked several times, trying to remember what exactly it was he was doing in the first place. Then he saw Remus’ blondish head pop up from the back of the room, a brunette one popping up beside him, and he felt that jolt of adrenaline rush through him once more.

Sirius pushed past Dorcas unceremoniously, earning him a rude comment. He didn’t much care, though, because he’d been right. Remus was back here with not one girl but two! And they were doing who knows what. The thought alone sent shivers down his spine and he could feel his hands shaking.

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” Remus asked in genuine confusion. If this had been part of the guys’ plan all along, he wasn’t entirely sure what to feel right now. “I thought you’d be out having fun at the party,” he added, still perplexed as to why Sirius looked like a rabid dog ready to pounce.

“You,” Sirius said in a huff, ignoring his friends’ words completely and pointing a multi-ringed finger at Marlene, who stood beside Remus with an unimpressed look on her face. “You took Remus away from the party. He’s not supposed to be back here,” Sirius said, eyes narrowed as he reached out for Remus’ arm to pull him closer. But Remus stepped back, the crease in his brow only deepening as he looked at Sirius.

“I didn’t know you had a bodyguard boyfriend. Wouldn’t ‘a thought it. He’s kind of shrimpy. And tell him to go a little lighter on the eyeliner next time. You look like _Night of the Living Dea_ d,” Marlene grinned, arms crossed as she looked Sirius up and down.

Sirius huffed, offended, but too focused on Remus to say anything. Marlene’s comment had seemed to break some of the tension radiating off of Sirius, though, as Remus visibly saw his body relax. But it was short-lived as Sirius reached for Remus again and tugged him off to the other corner of the room, trying his best not to respond to Marlene’s comment in his present state, not sure what he might let slip.

Remus wondered what he possibly could have done to piss his friend off so much that he came barging after him when he was supposed to be off “making memories” with a girl for the first time. Did he forget to say ‘thank you’ or something? He raised an eyebrow at Sirius as if asking why he was there, and Sirius just stared back at him for a moment before biting his lip and looking down at the ground sheepishly. All of his previous spirit had been stamped down by the weight of Remus’ gaze.

“Sirius?” Remus hissed impatiently between his teeth, looking at Sirius like he’d never really seen him before. In truth, this side of Sirius was rare. It really only ever came out when Sirius was so severely personally offended by something that he felt like he had to Godzilla his way through the situation lest the world should end. One such wonderful moment was when they were all in the car and some bloke pulled up next to them and accused Sirius of being a ponce if he didn’t race him. He’d nearly killed them all, but damn if they hadn’t made it to the end of the street first. It was rare and sometimes terrifying, but never this confusing.

Remus noticed the worry on his friend’s face and relaxed a little. “What’s up? Why did you just burst in here? Oh no, Pete didn’t do the thing with the spoons again, did he?” he asked with a weary sigh.

Sirius chuckled awkwardly and shook his head. “No, no. It’s not that. Uh, I just…” Sirius cleared his throat. His grey eyes were fearful, but he did his best to mask his feelings by standing up a little straighter, which only made him more nervous as he was now nearly at eye-level with Remus. Sirius gulped.

He’d been ready to say something, anything that might honestly explain why he was back here. He’d been ready to spill his heart out and pull Remus away for himself if it only meant getting him away from some strange girl at a party who didn’t deserve to know how funny and intelligent and absolutely amazing he was all the time.

Honestly, Sirius couldn’t imagine anyone understanding what it was like to look across a bowl of cereal on a Saturday morning and see Remus’ freckled face illuminated by the sunlight pouring through the window. He couldn’t imagine anyone appreciating the naturally reddish highlights in his messy hair or the way he cradled the side of his breakfast bowl in his long fingers so delicately, making Sirius wish he could be held by those caring hands.

But then he looked into those big green eyes flecked with bits of hazel and gold and he couldn’t bring himself to just ruin years of friendship like that. He couldn’t bring himself to give Remus the opportunity to reject him. Not now. And especially not in front of these two girls who were staring at him like he was a madman who’d just kidnapped their pet bunny rabbit. So he came up with an excuse.

“...look, I know James and Pete and I have been laying all of this on pretty thick. But it’s your birthday, and you really don’t have to go through with this. I didn’t expect you to get _two_ , and so fast…” Sirius said somewhat bitterly, looking at the girls out of the corner of his eye for a moment before turning back to Remus. “Honestly, mate, wow—but, well, what I mean is...your birthday shouldn’t be about getting laid. You should do something you like, have fun, watch movies. I know you hate parties and big crowds and I tried to tell James not to bring you out tonight but you know him,” Sirius sighed, feeling a little ashamed he hadn’t said something sooner, knowing what a laid back guy Remus really was. “If it’d been all up to me, we’d just have a horror movie marathon and eat cake and throw back some cheap scotch ‘till we’re sick. And we can still do that, you know,” Sirius spoke quickly, his hand progressively moving up from Remus’ arm to wrap around his shoulders and pull him into a persuasive side hug. “So, what d’ya say, Moons? Wanna get outta here?” Sirius asked, looking up at his friend hopefully and trying his best not to say any of the other thoughts that were currently buzzing through his head.

Maybe when they were alone together, Sirius’ would find his courage again and actually say something to his friend who he’d been pining after since they were 15. Yes, absolutely. That’s what he would do. Wait until they were alone. That’s what Remus would want anyway, right? None of this party rubbish. Just the two of them, Sirius thought as he breathed out a small sigh of anxiety. And, hopefully then, it wouldn’t hurt so bad if Remus rejected him.

Marlene cleared her throat, getting the attention of both boys. She raised an eyebrow at them and half-smirked. “Laid?” Girls always seemed to catch the finest of details in a conversation, Sirius thought indignantly.

Remus flushed a light shade of pink and rubbed the back of his neck. “I—uh, look, I can explain,” he fumbled with his words and cleared his throat. But Sirius put a hand on his shoulder and stepped in front of him to take over.

“Look, I’m sure you ladies had a lot of fun with Remy here, but we have to bugger off now,” Sirius said crudely, not really fond of Remus’ new friends since they’d almost managed to steal him away. Remus made a face and nudged Sirius to behave.

Marlene and Dorcas looked slightly offended at first, but really they were just having fun watching Remus and Sirius dance around each other. “Where ya going?” Dorcas asked. “We wanna come.” Marlene smirked at Sirius and gave Remus her sweetest smile.

“We, uh, we’ll probably just head back to the flat with our mates,” Remus replied, unable to just shrug them off after they had been so nice to him. “You can join us if you–”

“Yes! I’ll get my tattoo bag,” Dorcas said happily and went over to the side of the couch.

Sirius grumbled when Remus invited the girls over, but his eyes lit up a little when he heard the word ‘tattoo.’ “You do tattoos? Are they any good?” he asked as they all gathered their things and headed out of the room, starting up a decent conversation that gave Remus hope maybe they could all be friends.

The party was louder than it had been all night and seemed to be picking up judging from all the new faces around the house. If Remus cared about that kind of thing, he would have thought it’d be a shame to leave in the middle of everything. Luckily, he didn’t, and he soon found himself leading the way back out to the tables of food where they’d last left Peter and James. Peter was groaning to himself, the residue of several cupcakes that had never stood a chance still on his face.

“Hey, Pete. You seen Prongs anywhere ‘round here? We’re about ready to go,” Sirius said, reaching behind Peter to grab himself the last remaining cupcake on the table.

“I dunno. He left right after you, Pads. Said something about a redhead. Ohhh, bloody hell, my stomach!” Peter groaned.

“You know you’ve gotta take it easy on the snack table when we go out, Wormy,” Sirius shook his head and turned to stand on his tiptoes, hoping to peek over the crowd and spot James. “Reeemusss,” he whined when he couldn’t reach. Remus rolled his eyes and looked for James, spotting him next to a girl with very long red hair, partially done up in a braid around her head like a crown. She had flowers on her shirt and actually seemed to be smiling at James, even touching his shoulder, which was a first for him in a while and all of the Marauders knew it.

“Looks like Prongs did better than me tonight,” Remus joked, pointing out his friend to the rest of the group. Sirius smirked and jumped up to wave James over dramatically. James didn’t come alone, bringing the smiling, red-headed girl with him.

“Lily?” Dorcas asked in astonishment as soon as James arrived, a huge stain on the front of his shirt.

“Uh, no… James, actually. Hi, who are you?” the messy-hair boy asked, seemingly in a daze after having had a couple drinks. Dorcas rolled her eyes and defaulted to Marlene to answer for her.

“I’m Marlene, and this is Dorcas. We’re Remus’ friends and we’re coming over tonight,” she grinned wickedly, speaking with all the confidence in the world.

“TWO girls, Moons!” James exclaimed, turning to his tallest friend. “You absolute dog!” he laughed excitedly and clapped Remus on the shoulder. Remus gave the girls an apologetic look and bit his lip.

“‘Uh, no,’” Dorcas said, hands on her hips as she mocked James’ drunken tone from a minute ago. “We’re _just_ his friends. Kind of already taken, you see?” she said, taking Marlene by the hand and holding it up to make her point.

“Eh, more the merrier then,” James shrugged and turned to the redhead with a smile. “So, your name is Lily?” he asked, grin widening.

“You came over here with him and didn’t even exchange names yet?” Marlene asked Lily as if scolding her.

“Relax, Marls. I was just helping him clean up a little after I spilled my drink on him is all,” Lily explained, her voice sweet and kind.

“Mmhm, we’ve heard that one before,” Marlene smirked, crossing her arms in front of her as she noticed the look she and James exchanged.

“So, you’ve all met?” Remus asked, trying to follow along.

“Best friends since primary school!” Marlene announced proudly and looped one arm through Dorcas’ and one through Lily’s. “Then more than friends with this one at the junior dance,” she nodded to Dorcas and pecked her cheek.

“Listen, I’m all for getting to know each other more, but can we do this at the flat?” Sirius asked. “It’s Moony’s birthday and I really think we should get going if we’re going to make time for party games and chocolate caaaake,” he sang the last word as he turned to Remus, whose eyes lit up a little.

“Chocolate! Really?” Remus asked, actually excited for once that evening.

“You didn’t think I’d let my best mate celebrate his birthday without cake, did you?” Sirius said, proud of himself for getting a smile out of Remus.

“Well, what are we all standing around for?!” Marlene asked. “Let’s get this party started!” she cheered as the boys led the way outside so they could all cram into the car. Lily tagged along with her friends just to see what they were all up to, and Peter managed to drag himself away from the table at the mention of cake to stumble behind the rest of the group, the music from the party still thumping loudly behind them.

~~~

The flat wasn’t much, but at least the boys had a couch and a television, which was all they really needed. “I guess, make yourselves at home?” Sirius invited the girls to sit on the couch. He let Remus have the recliner, sitting on one arm of the chair with his legs dangling over the side. James and Peter found spots on the floor on either side of the couch, and James turned the radio on low to their favorite rock station.

James immediately started talking to Lily, using all of his best jokes to win her over and surprisingly getting a few laughs. Dorcas and Marlene told their own jokes as well, playfully showing James up and starting a friendly battle of wits between the three of them with Lily as the judge and Peter as a very drunk and very full spectator. Sirius seemed to be content listening from where he was and not throwing in any quips of his own, though Remus knew he had plenty.

Remus smiled to himself as he looked around the room. Maybe his birthday hadn’t gone as his friends had expected it to: with him and some girl running off into the sunset together—or having a casual shag in someone else’s room. But it had gone exactly as he had wanted it to. He was with his three best friends, and even some new ones, and they were all together in his favorite place in the world. It made him smile in content and he sank back into his seat, Sirius’ arm draped a few inches above him across the back of the recliner.

Everything was perfect. That is, until one of his worst fears came true before his very eyes.

“Who wants to play spin the bottle!” Marlene sang, holding up an empty beer bottle that James had just finished chugging.

Remus felt his face go even paler than usual if that was possible, and his heart started to thump nervously inside his chest. Little did he know, only a few inches away from him, Sirius’ heart had started to do the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I won't wait so long between chapters next time! Please let me know what you thought ^_^


	3. March 10-11, 1980 — Because I Love You (Almost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Remus has a birthday party and Sirius almost gets what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...I’m back! I know I promised not to take so long writing this next chapter, but here we are again. This is where I finally make good on my promise for flashbacks and a little tiny bit of drama? Sort of? Please enjoy <3

**December 1978**

_Remus Lupin was one second short of losing his mind. He could feel every hair on his body standing up and he was panting softly, eyes squeezed shut as he tangled a hand in the mess of black hair kneeling before him. A simple flick of a tongue had Remus pressing a white-knuckled fist to his mouth to suppress the loud groan that escaped his throat. He bit his bottom lip in embarrassment and uncurled his fingers once he’d caught his breath, allowing the other boy to stand up on shaky knees in the supply closet they were hidden away in._

_Edgar Bones was not Remus’ first kiss, but he was just about his first everything else so far. The two boys had met in biology class during their first year of high school, but they hadn’t held their first real conversation with each other until they ran into one another at science club during the start of senior year. Remus was in a number of after school clubs during their high school years, so the other marauders often used the time when he wasn’t there to plan pranks on their fellow classmates and wait until Remus would return to fine tune them._

_Extra study time with one another had turned into curious kisses and the occasional groping behind bookshelves in the library. They wouldn’t really talk much during school, but twice a week, as soon as the final bell of the day rang, everything was different. They’d make eyes at each other across the lab or skip science club altogether and meet in various hideaways across the school to snog each other silly. Pretty soon, they’d worked their way past snogging and Edgar had offered to show Remus what it felt like to be kissed in much more sensitive places…_

**March 10, 1980**

Sirius cleared his throat, nudging Remus from where he was perched on the arm of the chair to get his attention. Remus snapped out of of his own thoughts, jumping in his seat and making everyone around him giggle. He blushed and looked up at Marlene, who was standing right in front of him, beer bottle still in hand. “You wanna spin first, Remus? You are the birthday boy, after all, right?” she smiled mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at him as if daring him to play.

Remus looked around at his friends, who were all looking back and smiling at him encouragingly. He really didn’t want to, not here, not with them. Remus knew that sounded strange, even to himself. If not his best friends and three incredibly nice girls, then who? But it was because his best friends were here that he didn’t want to play—particularly the one practically leaning on his shoulder and breathing down the back of his neck in a way that was completely innocent but made Remus shiver, all the same. 

“Remus?” Marlene pressed again, as he’d just been sitting there with his mouth half open. 

“Huh, oh, uh...okay…” Remus found himself hesitantly agreeing and took the glass bottle in his hand. He looked around at his friends skeptically as Marlene went to sit beside Dorcas again, not sure what he was going to do if it landed on any of them. Remus leaned forward to place the bottle in the center of the coffee table, and for the third instance in his short time as a 20-year-old, Remus allowed himself to be peer pressured as he spun the bottle with a twist of his wrist. Everyone watched, eyes trained on the neck of the bottle as its smooth glass surface brushed over and over against the wooden coffee table. 

Remus tilted his head curiously when the bottle stopped, pointing at none other than one of his very best friends—James. 

“Awe, Moony, if you wanted a kiss, all ya had to do was ask, mate,” he smirked playfully and went on to talk himself up as if anyone would be more than lucky to snog him. This made Lily raise an eyebrow at him and scoot away from him slightly, so he quickly added on that he was only kidding, of course. Though, the other marauders had heard him give that speech multiple times after he complained that he’d gone far too long without properly snogging anyone. Lily hummed and all eyes were back on Remus. “Alrighty, Moons, pucker up!” 

James hopped off the couch and made a full show of pinning Remus to the armchair with a disgustingly slobbery peck on the lips. Remus immediately wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and James put both hands over his chest as if he was heartbroken. The room broke out into fits of giggles, Remus included. 

But Marlene, who was ever perceptive, happened to notice that Sirius hadn’t found the kiss very amusing at all. He’d been leaning on the arm of the chair the entire time, giving him a perfect close-up view of James and Remus’ snogging. It made him feel sick to his stomach and he would have run out of the room at that exact second if he didn’t think he’d cause a scene. Of course, he’d caused many a scene in his days, but this was Remus’ special day, and Sirius didn’t want to ruin it. 

After several drinks and a few more rounds of spin the bottle—in which Lily kissed Dorcas, James kissed a reluctant Lily and Peter received a somewhat forceful kiss from Marlene that left him in a drunken state of disrepair—Marlene pushed the bottle into Sirius’ hands. “C’mon, Mick Jagger. You’re the only one who hasn’t gone at all yet. Can’t leave those luscious lips unkissed all night, can we?” she said to Sirius teasingly. She wiggled her eyebrows at him playfully as she sat on the floor beside the armchair, waiting for him to take the bait. 

Sirius rolled his eyes at her and reluctantly took the bottle. He chanced a look at Remus, who seemed surprisingly alert for some reason, and leaned forward to lay the bottle on the coffee table. Sirius let the bottle spin, watching intently and hoping beyond hope that it both would and wouldn’t land on Remus. Frankly, he couldn’t decide which scenario would be worse: one where he’d be forced to watch Remus kiss someone else again or one where he’d make a complete fool of himself. 

Lucky for Sirius, he didn’t have to hope. Marlene had already decided for him. 

As the bottle slowed, all signs indicated that it was going to stop on Marlene herself. With an “accidental” nudge to the coffee table, though, Marlene managed to swing the neck of the bottle the slightest bit further around the circle, a smirk spreading wide across her face when it stopped. 

She may have just met Sirius that night, and they may not have instantly gotten along. But, if there was one thing she already knew, it was that Sirius wanted Remus, and badly. She’d be sure to have him thank her later. 

Remus gulped, eyes fixed on the neck of the beer bottle as it pointed directly at him. Right now, he was caught between feeling absolutely sick and absolutely ridiculous. He knew Sirius didn’t like him, not in the way Remus liked him. Sirius hadn’t pined after him the way Remus had for years and years. He couldn’t have. Why would he? Sirius was on a completely different level than he was with his love for rock n’ roll shows and leather jackets and getting tattoos. Remus, on the other hand, liked his cozy jumpers and vinyl records and perfecting a cup of tea. There was no way Sirius even remotely felt the way he did, so what did Remus have to worry about? 

**March 11, 1980**

The clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00. It was technically no longer Remus’ birthday, but Marlene might have just set him up to receive his most sought-after birthday gift.

Sirius, feeling his heart beating out of his chest and his palms beginning to sweat, looked over to Remus and nearly exploded when Remus gave him a reassuring smile. Remus was giving him the go-ahead to _kiss_ him. KISS him! Sirius had wanted that for longer than he could even fathom and here Remus was, offered up to him on a silver platter. Or, rather, because of a brown bottle. He just wished there weren’t so many people around because he could already feel his cheeks burning. 

“I get to kiss the birthday boy? What an honor,” he said with an awkward laugh, doing his best to speak in his ever-casual and relaxed tone that secretly made Remus melt. But Marlene could see right through Sirius’ act. Had he known, he’d probably be sweating all over instead of just his palms. And, had he known that everyone at the party except Remus could see right through his charade, Sirius wouldn’t have been able to do what happened next. The picture of confidence, Sirius winked at Remus and leaned closer to his friend. 

The next 30 seconds of Remus’ life moved in slow motion. Sirius reached a hand out—fingers calloused from playing guitar—and cupped his cheek. A thumb brushed over his cheekbone and his lips parted involuntarily as Sirius leaned forward and pressed those warm pink lips against his own. The curtain of Sirius’ dark hair blocked the view of the kiss from the rest of the group. 

But Remus still forgot to breathe the entire time, letting Sirius’ soft lips press purposefully—and rather desperately—against his own for what seemed like a blissful eternity. 

He’d expected a kiss, but nothing like that. By the time Sirius pulled away, Remus was in such a state of shock, that he wasn’t even sure he’d remembered to kiss back. 

Sirius, for his part, had just let go completely. He wasn’t sure what had overcome him, but it had been the most magical 30 seconds of his life. Remus had given him an opportunity and he’d taken it. And bloody hell had it been worth it. 

Sirius pulled back with a dazed look in his eyes as he opened them slowly to look down at Remus, who seemed more bewildered than Sirius would have liked. “I, uh...happy birthday?” he tried and cleared his throat. Sirius looked away from Remus only to find the rest of the group staring at them with a mixture of awe and knowing satisfaction on their faces, particularly Marlene. 

“Knew ya had it in ya,” Marlene whispered from the floor and reached up to punch Sirius’ arm lightly. 

“Whoo! Happy birthday to Moony, indeed!” James cheered, laughing as the girls joined in with teasing claps, and Peter downed his third bottle of beer. 

“Dunno whatcha mean...was just for the game, nothing more,” Sirius mumbled to Marlene. He risked a glance back at Remus, who somehow looked disappointed now. His face had fallen and the sheen in his eyes from a moment ago was gone. Had Sirius not kissed him right? Had his breath been bad? Had Remus really dreaded kissing him that much and just had all of his worries validated? 

Sirius gulped and was about to apologize to Remus, or at least ask what was wrong when Marlene kept the game moving. They spun the bottle several times over, their kisses getting sloppier and turning more into bumbling mouths crashing together in between raucous laughter the drunker they all got. 

Remus sipped on his second bottle of beer and silently appreciated the fact that no one else had been made to kiss him after Sirius. He couldn’t get his mind off of those soft lips working so passionately against his own and how stupid he’d been not to reciprocate. And everyone had seen. They’d clapped—probably mocking him for sitting their like he’d been hit with a stun gun. But to top it all off, Sirius had told Marlene the kiss was just for show, crushing any sort of lingering suspicion Remus had that his friend had actually enjoyed the kiss or looked forward to it. Remus felt like an idiot, and he sank deeper into the armchair, nursing his beer as his friends played and laughed around him. 

He was ready to sulk the rest of the night away when, after another half hour of spin the bottle, Dorcas shot up from the couch and surprised everyone by cranking the radio up the minute David Bowie’s “Rebel, Rebel” came on. 

“Oh! This song is my favorite!” she announced. “C’mon, Marls. Dance with me while the night is still young,” she insisted, holding out her arms as she crawled off the couch, bringing Marlene with her so they could dance around the coffee table. Lily giggled as she watched her friends act like fools in love, accidentally leaning closer to James and blushing. 

“It’d be a shame not to honor the great Ziggy Stardust by dancing to one of his best songs. Dance with me?” James asked Lily, looking up at her on the couch and offering his hand. Lily twisted her mouth from side-to-side in consideration for a moment, mostly just to watch James squirm. He looked up at her expectantly, beginning to get nervous, when Lily laughed and placed her hand in his own. 

“Alright, but I think he prefers to be called The Thin White Duke now. Honestly, you call yourself a fan,” Lily teased. James’ eyebrows shot up to his forehead, not having known he and Lily were into the same music. He supposed it made sense, what with her friends and all, but it only made him even more attracted to her as he stood up and properly took her by the hand. 

“It’s nearly 1:30! Shouldn’t we turn it down?” Peter tried to argue, but was drowned out by the sound of laughter and an upbeat chorus. He rolled his eyes and took the opportunity to steal Dorcas’ spot on the couch.

Remus got up to put his empty beer bottle on the coffee table and slip away when Sirius grabbed his arm and hopped off the arm of the recliner. “Where ya goin,’ Moons? Not headed to bed already, are ya? It’s your birthday, and you haven’t even had cake yet, for crying out loud!” Sirius said with a semi-forced smile, still embarrassed about earlier. 

Remus noted the blush on Sirius’ face but didn’t mention it. “I—yeah. Just…you know dancing’s not really my thing and—“

“Nonsense, Moony! Everyone can dance to Bowie. It’s part of his charm,” Sirius said with an equally charming smile. “Let me show you how it works, yeah?” he asked and held a hand out to Remus. The birthday boy hesitated, but he let Sirius take him by the hand, a smile slowly working its way across his face as Sirius bounced ridiculously in place. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d danced together. They’d been mates for years, after all. But it was the first time they’d danced together since they’d kissed. Remus couldn’t stop thinking about it, those soft, pink lips moving across his own and pulling him in for more. He shuddered to think what he might have let happen had all of their friends not been around. Would Sirius have felt anything then? He clearly didn’t now after what he’d said to Marlene.But Remus caught himself staring at Sirius’ mouth more than once as they danced. 

Sirius, meanwhile, tried to distract himself from inappropriate thoughts about his best friend by shimmying his body in all sorts of absurd ways and wiggling his eyebrows at Remus in a successful attempt to make him laugh. By the end of the song, he’d gotten so into it, he even put a finger under Remus’ chin and leaned in to mouth the song to him. “Hot _tramp_ , I love you soooo,” Sirius said with a smirk, playfully winking at Remus as he pulled back. 

After that, Remus felt a shiver run through his entire body, and he was suddenly very glad he hadn’t gone to bed yet. 

They spent the rest of the night dancing, with a quick break for cake in between, during which James tried to shove Remus’ face in from behind, but received a thwack on the back of the head from Sirius before he could. Remus grinned when he caught what was going on, and he quickly blew out the candles, wishing silently that next year’s birthday would be just as brilliant. When it was nearly 3:30 in the morning, their neighbors finally pounded on the front door, insisting they turn down the music or they’d call the cops. 

They turned the music off and piled the sink full of chocolate frosting covered dishes. James went to drive the girls home, mostly as an excuse to spend more time with Lily, and Peter passed out on the living room floor. “Told Pete he shouldn’t take it over three bottles. He’s a lightweight,” Sirius shook his head with a laugh, holding Peter by his legs while Remus grabbed under his arms to lift him onto the couch. 

“Yeah, let’s hope the message actually sticks in that thick head of his this time,” Remus chuckled as they plopped Peter onto the couch. “Alright, mate, thanks for the party, but I’m knackered,” Remus said with a yawn, stretching his arms above his head and causing his t-shirt to ride up. Sirius’ eyes lingered on the exposed strip of Remus’ stomach, and he reached out a hand to stop the other boy when he tried to walk away. 

“Wait, uh...happy birthday, Rem. We—I— _we_ wanted you to have a really special one, seeing as you’re the big two-O and all,” he said with an awkward smile.

Remus couldn’t help but think that Sirius was at his most attractive when his awkward, sweet side peeked through his “bad boy” exterior. It was endearing. “Thanks, Pads. Means a lot,” he smiled back. 

“I could, um, tell you were having a lot of fun tonight,” Sirius said with a sweet smile, pausing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It was nice to see you let loose, ya know, unlike…” Sirius began but stopped himself, clearing his throat. 

Remus’ brow furrowed as he realized what Sirius was about to say, the small smile fading from his face. “Oh…you mean...unlike I usually am…all stuffy and…boring,” he spoke slowly, nodding as understanding crossed his face. He bit his lower lip in slight frustration and sighed as he looked down at the rug beneath their shoes. 

“No—I didn’t mean—that’s not what I—“ Sirius stammered, trying to take back what Remus thought he’d been implying. 

Remus shook his head. “No, you know what? Maybe it’s time I finally told one of you,” he said sternly, slowly building up the nerve to look back up and meet Sirius’ eyes with determination. Sirius raised his eyebrows at the sudden change in his friend’s voice and watched Remus carefully. “You and Prongs like to pretend we’re all on the same page, like I don’t know you both see me and Pete as more timid and weak—secondhand players in whatever operation you two have cooked up at the moment.”

“Remus, we don—” Sirius began, but Remus held up a hand to quiet him.

“I know I like books and tea instead of parties and drinks, and I nag you like a mum when you don’t do your homework or James leaves his socks all over the place...but Pete and I have our own strengths, and I like having fun in other ways. I can stand up for myself and, believe it or not, I do have my own opinions—which you’d know if it weren’t so difficult to get a word in edgewise with you lot. I’m just saying...I don’t want you to look at me like I’m weak or can’t handle myself just because I’m not as...outgoing as you are, because it kinda hurts,” Remus insisted, his voice getting smaller towards the end of his sentence.

Sirius gave the other boy a moment, watching him closely and letting what Remus said sink in. “Rem? Can I say something now?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded before meeting his eyes again. Sirius nodded back and sighed, putting his hands on the other boy’s shoulders. “Remus, ah…” Sirius didn’t quite know where to begin. “Remus, I don’t think you’re weak,” he said finally, a look of surprise spreading across Remus’ previously distraught face. “Hell, you’re way stronger than I am. Don’t think I didn’t notice you carry up all those boxes when we moved in,” Sirius said with a small smile. “And you’re always there for any of us when we need you...especially when my parents kicked me out,” he said, pausing to clear his throat. Remus’ face softened a little at that. “I also don’t think you’re boring. Not even the slightest bit,” he added insistently. “I’m sorry if we made you feel the opposite all this time...but I have so much fun with you no matter where we go or what we’re doing. Don’t tell Jamie, but I have more fun kipping on the couch with you than going to parties most of the time...and, really, we wouldn’t be the Marauders without ya, Moons.”

“But then what was tonight all about? You lot dragging me out to a party and making me…” Remus trailed off and wrinkled his nose, not even wanting to finish his sentence for the bad taste it would leave in his mouth. 

“I’m sorry about that. Really, I am. I tried to tell James, but...well, you know what he’s like when he gets to thinking,” Sirius said, blushing a little out of embarrassment. “I hope we didn’t ruin anything, though. I really did want you to have a good birthday _because I..._ ” he began, but shook his head and sighed instead, scuffing his shoe against the hardwood floor. 

Remus raised his eyebrow as Sirius’ words cut off, like he was about to say something truly important. He bit his lip, feeling conflicted. The party hadn’t been his first choice, but he had a good time once they’d all come back to the house. He also couldn’t help but notice how sincere Sirius looked right now and how many times he’d said “I” instead of “we” when he apologized. Despite his name, Sirius was rarely ever, well, serious. But Remus liked seeing this rare side to his best friend. The vulnerability made him feel closer to Sirius, and he couldn’t help but smile. 

“I did have a really great birthday,” he admitted, his smile widening when Sirius met his eye again. “I really liked meeting the girls and having cake and, um, playing games…” he hummed, blushing a bit as he remembered their kiss, his lips still tingling a bit. “I, uh, I had a really good time, Pads. Thanks,” Remus sighed, relieved that he’d gotten everything off his chest and that things weren’t awkward between them after Spin the Bottle. 

Sirius looked up at his best friend, unsure when exactly he’d sprouted so tall or when he’d become the beautiful freckled, green-eyed, curly-haired angel standing in front of him. Sirius was so in love with Remus, mustard-colored jumper and all, and he couldn’t contain himself when he reached out to touch the corner of Remus’ mouth. His hand lingered, caressing the other boy’s cheek for a split second before Sirius came back to his senses. “I, uh, you—you had some cake—crumbs ‘n’ stuff,” he stammered and mumbled something else about being tired. 

“Thanks, Pads,” Remus smirked, a look of amusement twinkling in his sleepy eyes, which Sirius found almost devastatingly beautiful. “Hey, and remember to sleep on your side tonight. You know you always feel like shit when you sleep on your back after a night of getting pissed,” Remus said with a smile. 

“You could always come sleep with me to make sure I don’t accidentally roll over,” Sirius half-joked, hoping Remus was drunk enough to humor him and keep him company for the night. 

“You’re an idiot, Pads,” Remus said with a grin and rolled his eyes. “G’night,” he mumbled, before walking off to his room to sleep off all the cake and beer he’d consumed. 

“G-goodnight, Moons,” Sirius stammered a bit, looking after Remus as he walked away. Sirius caught himself and blushed. “Damn, I must be tired,” he mumbled to himself under his breath and went to his own room, unsure how he’d let himself slip like that. 

As he changed into boxers and a t- shirt, Sirius chided himself for touching Remus’ face and for enjoying that kiss so much when there was no way in hell Remus would ever like him back that way. Of course, he and Remus touched in passing frequently, but never like that. Never at 3am when they were both slightly sloshed and alone and not exactly unfamiliar with each other’s lips. 

And what lips they were, so pink and luscious and inviting, Sirius thought as he crawled into bed that night. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember exactly how it’d felt to kiss his best friend, the boy he’d unknowingly pined after for the majority of his life and wanted now more than ever. 

Sirius gasped as he let his hand slip under the waistband of his boxers and images of Remus moving his lips flashed behind his eyelids. Sirius imagined kissing Remus deeper than before, pushing him back into their overstuffed armchair so that his weight was on top of the other boy and their mouths melted together, with no one else around. He imagined sucking hot kisses down Remus’ pale neck and tangling his fingers in the other boy’s impossibly curly auburn hair. At present, his hand moved rapidly up and down beneath the thin cloth of his pants until he was gasping for air and his free hand was tangled in the sheets around him. After only a few minutes, Sirius groaned softly and buried his face in his pillow as he caught his breath. 

There was no going back from that kiss. 

As Sirius looked out his bedroom window to the moon hanging high in the sky, he felt a mixture of emotions well inside him, and he knew everything was going to be different from now on. Remus knew how he felt now. He had to, which could only mean one thing going forward: Sirius was utterly and completely screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a quick thank you to anyone who has been following along and has actually made it this far in this mess of a fic. This is my first real fic I’ve ever shared with anyone, and it means a lot to me to hear what you think! I’m planning to write one or two more chapters, so any notes would be much appreciated :) Also, the chapter after this will probably mostly be smut lol


	4. April 15, 1980 — Marauders in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys finally go on a date <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some casual fluff aaaand a conclusion to all this needless pining. I would just like everyone to know that this was meant to be a short fic, but it just kind of got away from me. It’s now 20k+ words and half of that is this chapter because I clearly have no self-control when it comes to writing about these two boys lol. Okay, please enjoy!

_March 1979_

_“Where are you going? Eddie? Edgar!” Remus called after the other boy as he took a few steps further toward the entrance to the library. It was a chilly day in spring, almost his birthday, and Remus had forgotten his jacket. He could feel the wind billowing under his thin jumper, but he didn’t care._

_Edgar groaned and wiped a hand down his face._

_“Look, Lupin, I already told you…” Edgar began as he turned to face Remus, looking almost like he cared. “This was fun while it lasted, but you’re taking it too far,” Edgar said with a shrug, hoping he’d finally gotten his point across to the heartbroken-looking boy._

_Remus shuffled from side-to-side nervously and resisted the urge to hug his arms around himself for warmth, trying to make sense of his emotions. Edgar didn’t want to keep up the secret “relationship” they’d been having. He didn’t think it was “right to play with your feelings.” At least, that’s what Edgar had told him a few minutes ago when Remus had stopped him outside the library before their weekly science club meeting and tried to ask the other boy to go steady with him. It was his birthday present to himself. He wanted to be official, to have Edgar to himself, to tell his friends about his very first boyfriend. But Edgar was quick to inform Remus that he’d been mistaken if he’d thought what they had was truly a relationship._

_Remus wanted to throw up._

_“You really don’t...you don’t feel anything?” he tried again, feeling like a complete fool as he stared back at Edgar, waiting for an answer. It was like he was in a bad romance film and he’d forgotten all his lines. The wind was blowing his slightly shaggy hair over his eyes now, and he brushed it out of the way with one hand, frowning and refusing to take his eyes off of the other boy, who stood there so nonchalantly that Remus felt his heart ache._

_Edgar shook his head and took another step towards Remus. “It was just a fling, nothing more. Look, don’t make this harder than it has to be, okay? You’re an alright bloke, but...it’s just not like that with us,” Edgar explained, his tone level and accepting in a way that made Remus furious inside. After a minute of doleful silence from Remus, Edgar finally spoke again. “Uh, I gotta go. I’ll see you in class, yeah?” he said with a half-hearted smile before tugging the library door open and heading inside._

He didn’t even look back, _Remus thought._

_Remus didn’t have a chance to say anything before the other boy was gone. Sure, he could have chased after him, made him listen, told Edgar that it’d taken him weeks to build up the courage to ask him for something more than a snog and a blowy behind the bookshelves in the library. But, deep down, Remus knew this was the way it was meant to be. Devastated and resentful, Remus stood in the cold for a long moment before he decided he wouldn’t be attending science club that day, and he took the long walk home._

April 15, 1980, 12:28pm

It’d been three weeks since Remus’ birthday and he was officially still a virgin, much to James’ annoyance and Sirius’ satisfaction. Remus insisted he was happy the way he was at the moment. But that didn’t stop his friend from pestering him about it every single day.

“I’m telling ya, Moons,” James said as he flopped down onto the couch and put his feet up on their second-hand coffee table. “Just throw on one of Padfoot’s leather jackets and run some product through that mop on your head and you’ll be golden. You’ll have birds _crawling_ all over you,” he said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

“I dunno why you’re so invested in this, Prongs. Unless _you_ want to shag Moony,” Peter joked as he tried to push James’ legs aside to sit down on the couch. James refused to budge and tripped the other boy with his foot, snickering as Peter pushed himself up off the carpet and flipped him off.

“I’m just saying, Moony is doing himself a disservice by not trying harder,” James finished with a shrug and clicked on the tiny television they’d all chipped in on. They only got a handful of stations, but it was better than nothing.

Remus rolled his eyes at James from where he was lounging in the armchair. Just then, Sirius strolled into the room, fresh out of the shower with a shirt wrapped around his hair and a bare chest. Remus struggled not to lick his lips.

“You know the shirt goes on your body, not your head, right, Pads?” James asked with a smirk.

“Sod off, arse. What are we talking about?” Sirius asked as he went to carelessly sprawl himself across both James and Peter on the couch just for fun. Both boys immediately pushed him off—Peter complaining that Sirius’s hair had gotten his pants wet—causing Sirius to fall on the floor and the shirt on his head to unravel. “Wankers,” he mumbled as he picked himself up from the same spot Peter had been in a minute ago and went to sit on the arm of Remus’ recliner.

“We were _talking_ about Remus’ love life, or lack thereof. He refuses to take my advice, even though I guarantee him it’ll get him a shag. After all, I am an expert,” James said proudly before turning back to the television.

“That again? Just come off it already,” Sirius shook his head, drying his hair with his shirt and draping it over his shoulder.

“Thank you!” Remus finally spoke up, doing his best not to ogle the boy beside him. “At least someone gets it. I keep telling Prongs that I’m fine. When I find the one, I find the one. I’m not going to go out looking for a casual fuck,” Remus huffed, having gotten annoyed with James over the last few weeks. It wasn’t just the fact that James had been harping on him so long about “squandering his golden opportunity.” Remus also couldn’t stop thinking about the night of his birthday. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sirius, to be exact, and it made him squirmy.

A couple times a week, Remus had been having dreams about Sirius and the kiss they shared, or just the two of them being together, cuddled up on the couch or in his bed. He’d imagine tangling his fingers in Sirius’ hair and waking up beside him with a smile on his face. Then his dreams would switch to memories of his high school fling with Edgar Bones, and he’d wake up in a cold sweat, with an ache in the pit of his stomach.

It was these dreams and these constant thoughts about Sirius that kept Remus from pursuing any sort of love life. Plus, that sort of casual intimacy with someone wasn’t what Remus was after. He wanted a real relationship with someone he trusted and cared about, who cared about him. He wanted Sirius. And, after their kiss, he’d almost thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to give it a shot and tell his best mate how he felt. He’d even considered pulling Sirius aside once or twice and asking if he had the same feelings for him.

But Remus always talked himself out of it, writing it off as wishful thinking. Remus knew he’d only end up embarrassing himself and getting hurt if he tried to bring it up. Sirius could have anyone he wanted, and there was no way he’d give that up to be with him. So he kept his feelings bottled up like he had for years and went on pretending that it didn’t bother him to have Sirius so close, yet so far. Because, to lose Edgar after so many months had been a tough blow, but to lose Sirius as a friend or anything more would crush Remus’ entire world.

“Well said, Moony,” Sirius said with an encouraging smile and gave the other boy an affectionate pat on the shoulder. As long as no one else was touching his Remus, Sirius was perfectly pleased. Well, almost.

The last three weeks had been particularly difficult for Sirius as well after their shared kiss and their flirtatious behavior during the night of Remus’ birthday party. Sirius thought about the other boy almost constantly now—which was to say, just about the same amount as before the kiss. Except, now, Sirius felt even more like a caged dog drooling over a bone.

Sirius had been sharing a living space with Remus for the better part of his school years, and even though there had been some temptation before, it was never this difficult to control himself. Sirius took any opportunity he could now to sit as close as possible to Remus, and he’d even stopped talking up girls he’d seen on the street. The latter had mostly been a habit he’d developed in the past to distract from his attraction to men—mainly Remus—so it wasn’t that difficult to give up. Sirius had even started pretending to like reading just so he could join the other boy whenever he went to the library. The library! Sirius had vowed to stay away from the library, unless the world was ending and the only way to shield himself was with shelves full of dusty, hundred-year-old books. But Remus seemed to like it there a lot. And, for Remus, Sirius would go anywhere.

“Yeah, whatever,” James sighed from where he was sunken deep into their lumpy, used sofa. Remus raised his eyebrows, surprised to hear James just let the subject drop.

“Ah, you’re just letting him off easy because you’re excited to see your ‘Lilykins’ tonight, aren’t you?” Peter teased, batting his lashes as he used James’ favorite nickname for his new girlfriend. After Remus’ birthday, James had managed to convince Lily to go on a date with him. He’d taken her to his favorite bowling alley, and she’d absolutely trounced him. The other marauders couldn’t believe it when he came home that night and told them the story of how James had let his own infatuation with the redhead distract him from winning at a game he was usually incredible at playing. But they were in even greater disbelief when, two weeks later, James strutted back to their apartment early one morning after an overnight date with Lily and announced that he was officially no longer a bachelor. They went out for a pint together that evening in celebration, and none of them had ever seen James so happy.

“Shut up, Pete,” James huffed, knowing full-well Peter was right. He pushed himself up to pin Peter to the couch and wrestle with him a bit over his teasing.

“Geroff, arse! You’ll mess up your hair for Liiiily,” Peter dared to retort with a laugh. That didn’t sit well with James, and he immediately reached for a throw pillow to smack Peter upside the head.

“I swear by the powers of David Gilmour himself, I’ll end you, Wormtail,” James said. “Then maybe Mary will realize she should have never agreed to go out with the sorry likes of you tonight.”

Mary was a friend of Marlene, Dorcas and Lily. They’d all known each other since their school years, and Mary actually turned out to be a really sweet girl when the marauders had finally met her. Lily had set her up with Peter; they’d gone out for lunch one day, and the rest was history. Remus had also never seen Peter happier than he was now, and seeing his friends so cheerful made him want a little piece of that happiness even more. It hurt to think about how lonely he felt. But he supposed there was a small upside in that all of the girls came over regularly for scary movie marathons, so at least there was something to look forward to.

Peter roared from beneath the suffocation of the pillow, and the boys got into a tumbling match on the couch. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look and rolled their eyes. With a sigh, Remus moved to get up and go to his room and read instead of wallowing in self-pity. Sirius, who’d pulled his shirt on by this point, hopped up instantly to follow after the other boy.

“Hey, Moony. Wait up a sec,” Sirius said, reaching a hand out to gently grab Remus’ shoulder. Remus would never admit how much that simple touch had made him shiver, and was thankful for the fact that he was wearing a jumper, so Sirius couldn’t see the goosebumps that had popped up on his arms. “I figure since Prongs and Wormy are both busy tonight, maybe you’d want to hang out...just the two of us?”

Despite the fact that they’d been best mates for over a decade, Sirius felt a little awkward asking Remus if he wanted to spend time together alone. He knew it was because of his pent-up feelings for the other boy, and he didn’t want to make things worse. But he figured, enough was enough. Unlike Remus, Sirius had decided he couldn’t go around hiding his feelings any longer. Sirius wanted to tell his best mate how he felt. If it ruined their friendship, well...he really hoped it wouldn’t come to that. But Sirius had made himself physically sick thinking about his longing for Remus over the last three weeks. That, paired with the fact that he’d been in love with the other boy practically since the day they’d met, was enough to give him the push he needed.

That wasn’t to say that Sirius wasn’t scared shitless, because he absolutely was. But, this was his Moony. He’d at least give him a chance to speak and try to understand where he was coming from, right? Sirius hoped so.

He looked at Remus expectantly, trying not to let his face give away the fact that tonight was quite possibly going to be the most terrifyingly important night of his young life.

Meanwhile, Remus’ train of thought wasn’t far from Sirius’. While Sirius had been doing his best to stay as close as possible to Remus almost constantly without making it weird, Remus had been doing his best to keep his distance. Not physically so much, because he loved Sirius’ company and wouldn’t dream of pushing him away. No, Remus was worried about letting himself get too close to Sirius again emotionally, and had hardly talked to the other boy the last few weeks, aside from the occasional chat about their day or joking with each other around the other marauders.

The night of his birthday, they’d had a lot of fun. But Remus had found himself nearly accepting Sirius’ offer to crawl into bed with him, and not just to sleep, either. Remus wasn’t sure how much he’d be able to control himself around Sirius if they were alone together and something overcame him. The possibility of ruining their friendship terrified him, but he loved Sirius. And, apart from their relatively quiet trips to the library together, they hadn’t spent much time alone together.

“Uh...yeah, sure. What’d ya have in mind?” Remus asked. Sirius grinned widely and let his hand drop.

“Brilliant! I mean...good, good,” he said, trying to pull back on his enthusiasm a little. Remus gave Sirius a lopsided smile and he practically melted on the spot. “Er, I was thinking we could go to that new record shop that just opened up down the block? Maybe grab a bite after?” he suggested and looked at Remus hopefully.

Remus, who’d been feeling like absolute rubbish only a minute ago, couldn’t help but nod instantly.

“Sure, mate. But only if we stop by Duke’s on the way home. I need a refill on my pick ‘n’ mix,” Remus said with a small laugh that made Sirius’s heart thump harder in his chest.

“Great! I mean, great,” Sirius said and cleared his throat. “It’s a date then—I mean,” he fumbled, looking embarrassed, but Remus cut him off.

“It’s okay, Pads. I know what you mean...Meet you at the record shop at six,” Remus said with a chuckle and shook his head as he went inside his room and closed the door.

“Oh, but you don’t, love. You really don’t,” Sirius whispered to himself and stared wistfully at Remus’s closed door, until Peter let out a death shriek from the other room and Sirius decided to go over to help the poor bloke out.

After spending a considerable amount of time roughing up both Sirius and Peter on the sofa, James had decided to go get ready for his date with Lily. He’d taken an actual shower and gotten dressed in his best button-up and nicest pair of jeans before rushing out to buy her some flowers. Meanwhile, Peter spent way too long trying to fix up his hair to look nice for Mary that evening.

Sirius sat on the living room sofa and shouted comments at his friends as they got ready, poking fun at them both for getting so worked up over a couple of girls and also giving them some style tips because he felt like being nice. When James returned and he and Peter started to gush over the girls together, Sirius rolled his eyes and went into his room, deciding it was as good a time as any to get ready.

As far as Remus knew, they were just hanging out casually, like they always had for years. But, for Sirius, this was going to be one of the most emotionally stressful nights of his life. Did he want to get his heart broken in his leather jacket or in that red button-up Remus seemed to like so much? Did he dare wear his eyeliner, or did Remus consider that a turn-off? There were so many questions bubbling up in his head that he decided to drown them out with some Led Zeppelin as he continued to rummage through his disaster zone of a closet.

Sirius spent the next hour busying himself for what he considered his first—and potentially last—date with Remus. At exactly 2:15 pm, he rushed out the front door without explanation, hurriedly wishing James and Peter good luck on their dates, since he didn’t plan to be back before they left.

About 15 minutes later, Sirius found himself a few blocks over from their apartment at Dorcas’ tattoo shop. Royal Ink wasn’t really hers, but Dorcas was being mentored there, and she had quickly become a favorite of all the regulars. Sirius strolled in with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his infamous leather jacket, which always carried the lingering smell of smoke and coffee grinds.

“That’ll do ya, Billy,” Dorcas said as she sat back and admired her work.

“Brilliant, looks just like her,” the young customer said as he got up out of the tattooing chair. He took another look in the mirror before walking towards the door. “Wicked, innit, mate?” he asked Sirius with a grin as he passed him, gesturing down to the fresh portrait of a cat’s face that now adorned the skinny lad’s left bicep. It would have been cute, if not for the devil horns and phrase “rock on” tattooed under it in purposely scraggly letters, like cat scratch.

“Uh, yeah, mate. It’s neat,” Sirius agreed and the man grinned as he left the shop. “Bloody hell, he sure was chuffed, wasn’t he?” Sirius chuckled as he walked further into the shop.

“Ah, not my best work. But I’ll bet he only loves it ‘cause it was free. I needed the practice, and my manager Ronnie said it was alright,” she explained and gave Sirius a smile. They had become good friends over the last few weeks. Sirius wouldn’t venture to call them best friends like the marauders or anything, but Dorcas was tenacious and outspoken, just like Marlene. And that was exactly what he loved about them both. “To what do I owe the unexpected visit, Black?”

Sirius dragged a finger over some of the glass-encased artwork around the shop, as if he was considering something. Then he plopped down in the tattoo chair with a nervous grin on his face. “Am I about to make the biggest mistake of my life if I ask you to tattoo something on me that isn’t a crudely drawn, devil-horned cat?” he asked, trying to be playful but clearly nervous.

“Depends. Whatcha after?” she said with a smirk. “And don’t look so nervous. Billy isn’t the best example, but he asked for it that way. I’m pretty damn excellent at this so far, according to Ronnie, and it’s not like this is your first tattoo...or was all that bragging just a fib to get me to like you?” Dorcas teased as she lounged on a stool.

“Being on your good side is always an advantage,” Sirius half-joked and Dorcas grinned. “And it’s not my first. You’ve seen the stars on my shoulder. I also have an Aladdin Sane lightning bolt in a fun place,” he winked, causing Dorcas to roll her eyes at him.

“Alright, alright. Enough bragging. Pick a tattoo or piss off, Black,” she insisted playfully. “Mar’s coming over later and I intend to give her my full attention,” Dorcas smirked.

As Sirius settled in to get his third and largest tattoo yet, Remus paced his room back at the flat with increasing anxiety. Hands held behind his back, Remus continued to wear a hole in his carpet as Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon played softly in the background on his cassette player. He hoped the music would calm him down. But, ever since Sirius had asked him if he wanted to hang out, his mind had been jumping back and forth, trying to decide whether it was worth it to risk his friendship with Sirius by telling him how he felt now that an opportunity had presented itself.

Remus had meant to spend the afternoon reading and possibly unpacking the last of the boxes that were still scattered around his bedroom. Instead, he felt sick to his stomach and had worried so much that his palms were sweaty. Remus had been over the situation a thousand times in his head before. If he told Sirius how he felt, there was almost no chance he’d feel the same. In all of the worst case scenarios Remus had imagined, they couldn’t even remain friends and one of then had to move out to avoid any further awkwardness. Even in the best case scenarios Remus imagined, something always went wrong because Sirius wasn’t even that interested in boys as far as he knew, especially not him, for that matter.

After he heard the front door shut, Remus poked his head out of his room to see that Sirius had left. Feeling he needed to cool down, he hopped in the shower and tried to relax. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut and have a nice night out with his best friend. That’s all there was to it, Remus told himself.

But thinking about Sirius and being naked in the shower was a recipe for disaster. So he tried to keep his mind busy with thoughts of where they might eat and what they might order. Once he was all cleaned up, Remus went back to his room and settled on wearing his thin orange jumper over a white button-up with the sleeves pushed up. He paired the outfit with some tan pants rolled up at the bottom, paisley socks and his favorite brown shoes. It was a nice but casual outfit, so he wasn’t trying too hard, but he looked good enough that it could be a date. Sirius would probably call his outfit nerdy, but Remus didn’t mind. In fact, the simple thought made him smile like a goof.

After he made sure he had everything he needed, Remus realized he was ready three hours early and groaned. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sit still and read for that long, not with his mind buzzing a mile a minute. So he went to the kitchen and made a quick sandwich as a snack before settling in to listen to James and Peter gush about their girlfriends. It wasn’t his favorite topic of conversation, but at least it gave him a distraction for the time being.

An hour later, James left to meet Lily, and Peter left another half hour after that. Remus used what time he had left to try to fix his permanently messy mop of auburn hair, but his attempt seemed fruitless after nearly half an hour. He decided he’d let enough time go by at that point and left the flat to go for a walk. He arrived at the record shop with plenty of time to spare and lingered outside, watching the sun sinking lower in the sky as he waited for Sirius, hands stuffed in his pockets so he wouldn’t fidget from the nerves that were presently consuming him.

April 15, 1980, 6:04 pm

Sirius was running late, as usual. So he hoped Moony hadn’t thought he was abandoning him. Dorcas had taken a bit longer than he’d expected to complete the tattoo, but the finished product looked better than Sirius had expected. It really was her best work, and she hadn’t even charged him after he’d explained the meaning behind it. He’d carefully slipped his leather jacket on to cover the tattoo on his right forearm and paid her a generous tip anyway before dashing out of the shop to run the few blocks to where Remus was waiting for him.

He arrived 15 minutes late, sweaty and out of breath. Exercise wasn’t really Sirius’ strong suit. But Remus looked so good in his jumper, with his socks showing beneath the legs of his rolled-up trousers, so he didn’t mind having to run. And Remus didn’t seem to mind Sirius’ disheveled look, licking his lips and catching himself before Sirius could notice he’d been checking him out.

“Hey, Moons!” Sirius said with a grin as he approached. “Sorry m’late. Had some important business to tend to. You look snazzy. Shall we?” he asked and held the door to the shop open for Sirius. Remus took it as another one of Sirius’ typically overdramatic gestures and thanked him before he went inside.

The Scratch Pad had only been in business for a week, so the inside of the store still smelled like fresh vinyl, which made both Remus and Sirius hum with delight. Sirius immediately grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him over to the rock ‘n’ roll section, which took up a good portion of the front of the shop.

“Awe! Check this out, Moons. It’s the new Scorpions album,” Sirius said with a grin, holding up a fresh copy of _Animal Magnetism_ that honestly had Remus focused on the jean-clad bum of some German man on the cover, rather than the actual band. Still, he smiled and insisted the other boy lead the way through the shop, since Sirius was the biggest music enthusiast he knew.

Iggy Pop, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and other bands the boys were familiar with lined the racks of the record shop, giving them endless vinyls and cassettes to flip through. Together, they made their way through every single aisle, discussing all of their favorites, from Remus’—including The Kinks and Fleetwood Mac—to Sirius’ favorites—like Queen, The Clash and the Sex Pistols. The pair of them had so much fun, Remus didn’t even bring up why Sirius had been favoring his left arm the entire afternoon whenever he’d reached to pick up an album.

Sirius bought himself a Queen album he’d been missing and threw in a copy of _Rumours_ by Fleetwood Mac, just because Remus wouldn’t stop carrying it around the entire time they were in the shop.

“Don’t even sweat it, Moons,” Sirius assured the other boy when he’d offered to pay him back later. “Consider it a late, make-up gift for the terrible house party Prongs made us go to on your birthday,” Sirius laughed.

“I quite liked my birthday, ya know,” Remus said, smiling at the memory. “The after party at the flat, not the house party,” he added with a laugh.

The boys chatted excitedly back and forth about everything from Remus needing a haircut to the pair of them potentially saving up for a concert. The next logical step was to consider bringing James and Peter along, who would clearly want to bring Lily and Mary, which would make the whole thing seem like an awkward double date. The last fact went unspoken between the boys as the conversation quickly transitioned to how much Remus was allowing himself to spend on sweets at the candy shop.

Sirius held the door open a second time and Remus paused, raising an eyebrow at his friend before thanking him and heading inside. They were more than familiar with Duke’s Honey & Sweets. It was one of Remus’ go-to stops after a long day at the library or whenever he needed a little pick-me-up. If ever he wasn’t in his room or at the library and they couldn’t find him, all of the marauders knew that Duke’s was the place to look.

Remus immediately led Sirius to his favorite side of the shop, where all the dark chocolate bars and handmade cubes of fudge were kept. He scanned them all with a glimmer in his eyes and Sirius cleared his throat, a teasing smirk on his face.

“Your weakness is showing, Moons,” he teased, finding Remus’ enthusiasm for chocolate absolutely adorable.

“You’re crazy for Bowie. I’m crazy for bon bons. What’s the difference?” Remus replied with an equally playful smirk on his face that made Sirius have to turn away to hide his blush.

“So, uh, they sure have a lot of chocolate here, huh?” he said, speaking with his back to Remus as he looked over a table covered in sweets and tried to buy himself some time for the color on his cheeks to fade. But Remus appeared right beside him a second later, leaning over the table of sweets to see if Sirius had found anything worth spending his pocket money on. Remus was so close that Sirius could smell his shampoo and he sighed softly.

“Mmm, what about that one?” Remus asked pointing to a pack of raspberry flavored marshmallow bon bons and brushing his arm against Sirius’ as he reached for it. “This’ll do for now,” Remus said proudly, holding up a moderately sized bag of assorted chocolates and the pack of bon bons. Sirius insisted on paying for the latter. He wanted to pay for all of it as a gesture of kindness, but Remus just gave him another skeptical look and let him cover the bon bons.

The boys shared the raspberry flavored treats between each other as they walked to their favorite Indian restaurant, Remus swinging his bag of sweets in one hand and feeding himself bon bons with the other. Sirius almost offered to feed him, but chickened out at the last second and decided it was for the best.

Sirius held the door open for his friend a third time, and Remus almost addressed it, had it not been for the fact that Sirius’ gesture of kindness actually made sense to Remus this time because his hands were full.

“Thanks, Pads,” he said with a smile. The restaurant was actually rather crowded that evening, so the boys opted to order their food to go. Remus and Sirius both ordered the chicken tikka masala with chapati on the side, so they could share. Once they had their food in to-go bags, which Sirius insisted on carrying, they walked back to the flat building. Only, instead of heading to their actual flat, Sirius made Remus wait in the hall as he ran inside to grab a blanket from his room. When he returned, they kept walking up the stairs to the rooftop, still slightly warm from the few hours of sunlight earlier that day.

Sirius laid the blanket out on the rooftop and gestured for Remus to come join him. It wasn’t unusual for the marauders to hang out on the roof. Remus knew that Sirius occasionally came up to the roof for a smoke when he needed to think. And, some nights, when the weather was warm enough, they’d all have a beer, talk for a while and laugh as James shouted at cars down below. When Remus needed a breath of fresh air or time to himself, he’d sometimes head up to the rooftop and sit for hours, sometimes reading and sometimes just staring out at the city and trying to collect his thoughts. Now, Sirius was with him on the roof, and Remus smiled as he sat down beside his best friend.

“If I’d known this was going to be a picnic, I’d have brought a coat,” Remus said teasingly.

“Are you cold? I can go get you a jacket!” Sirius insisted immediately, hopping up off the blanket. But Remus gently grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down.  
  
“No, no, relax, Pads. It was a joke. You feeling alright today? You seem a little...off,” Remus said, watching his friend in amusement as Sirius picked at a loose thread in the blanket.

“I’m fine, Moons...Just lookin’ out for a fellow marauder, yeah?” he said with a shrug, trying his best to come off as casual. Remus gave him another curious look and shook his head before helping Sirius unpack their dinner. The curry was delicious and the boys were silent for a long time as they ate, just enjoying their food and looking out at the soft curls of smoke rising from the rooftops all around them.

Even though they didn’t speak, the boys enjoyed each other’s company. They made silly faces at one another every now and then, just for the hell of it, and tried their best not to tense up whenever their hands brushed as they both reached for a piece of bread. Remus was wiping up what was left of his curry from his takeout container with a bit of chapati when Sirius finally broke their comfortable silence.

“So...how’s your first month as the oldest marauder been?” Sirius asked, leaning back on his hands and looking at Remus with a teasing smile.

“Pads...I’m younger than all of you by at least two weeks,” Remus reminded him, laughing softly.

“But you’re the only one of us who acts like a grandpa,” Sirius replied quickly, wearing a smirk that earned him a playful shove from his best friend. Sirius’ heart leaped from the simple touch. “You dress like one, too,” he added, reaching over to pluck a stray bit of lint off Remus’ orange jumper, his fingers lingering on the soft fabric.

Remus looked down at Sirius’ hand and resisted the urge to cover it with his own. He looked back over at Sirius, their eyes meeting and holding each other’s gaze, the tension between them suddenly painfully palpable.

Sirius licked his lips and pulled his hand back, clearing his throat as he turned his gaze away from Remus and quickly became very interested in a leaf that the wind had carried onto their little blanket. He twiddled it between his fingers for a second before resting it on Remus’ knee. Remus picked up the leaf and looked at Sirius, sensing he wanted to say something after all his strange behavior that afternoon.

“What’s on your mind, Pads?”

“I’ve been thinking about your birthday a lot, you know,” Sirius admitted. Remus tilted his head to the side curiously and watched closely as Sirius now fumbled with his own fingers. “I’m glad you said you had a good time earlier, because I did, too...a really, _really_ good time, actually,” Sirius said. With every word he spoke, he hoped that Remus would get what he was leading up to, so he wouldn’t actually have to say it.

Sirius looked into Remus’ hazel green eyes and groaned as his friend stared at him cluelessly. As smart as he’d been all through their school years, Remus could be pretty oblivious sometimes. This was going to be so much more difficult than Sirius had thought.

“Uh, yeah. I had a great time, too, Pads. Thanks for the chocolate cake, by the way. It was brilliant,” Remus said happily. “I’ll have to pay you back one day...I did always like those rings you wear. Maybe I’ll get you some more,” he thought aloud and reached out to play with one of the silver rings on Sirius’ index finger. Sirius froze as he watched the careful way Remus’ long and delicate fingers traced the shape of the jewelry against his skin.

“Ahgluboo,” he choked out involuntarily. Remus quirked an eyebrow as he looked up from the rings to Sirius’ now slightly flushed face.

“Huh? I didn’t quite catch that,” Remus asked. And Sirius had never been more grateful, breathing a soft sigh of relief that his strangled admission of love was too incomprehensible, even for Remus’ brilliant mind to decipher. As much as he’d meant it, that wasn’t exactly how he wanted to admit his feelings to the love of his life.

“Erm, do you wanna try one on?” he offered, saving himself as he slipped a cheap black and silver skull ring off his left hand. Remus hesitated a moment and held his hand out. Sirius held the other boy’s wrist gently to steady Remus’ hand as he slipped the ring onto his finger. His breath caught in his throat at how warm and smooth his best friend’s skin felt under his fingertips.

“Fits perfectly,” Remus said. When a moment had passed and Sirius still hadn’t moved his hand away or said anything, he cleared his throat and Sirius pulled his hand back. “It’s really nice. Where’d ya get it?” he asked.

“Ah, Reg gave me that one when I went to visit him last month. He might be moving closer to us once he graduates,” Sirius explained and Remus nodded, glad to hear Sirius was getting along with his brother after the troubled childhood they’d experienced.

“Nice, well I think it looks better on you than me,” Remus said and smiled, going to take the ring off and struggling for a moment. “Uh...I think it’s stuck,” he huffed, trying to pull on it harder now and failing to budge the ring even a centimeter.

“Here, let me help,” Sirius said, scooting closer and sitting up on his knees as he turned for a better angle to help Remus pull the ring off. Remus held his breath when he felt Sirius’ hands on his own, forgetting about the ring altogether for a split second.

“Ouch, don’t—”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll just—”  
  
“Sirius, wait—”

“Whoa!” Sirius yelped, somehow managing to tear the ring off Remus’ now slightly red finger and fall on top of him at the same time. As embarrassed as he was, he couldn’t exactly say he was disappointed to have landed on top of Remus, who was holding his arms up in the space near Sirius’ sides, as if unsure whether to hold onto him or not. “Sorry ‘bout that, mate,” Sirius laughed. “Guess I don’t know my own strength,” he added with a grin that made Remus roll his eyes and smile up at him in that breathtaking way that made him wonder why Remus wasn’t the face of every advert in the city.

“Erm...Pads?” Remus asked after a minute, finally letting his hands rest gently on Sirius’ back. His leather jacket felt surprisingly warm on that chilly evening.

“Mmhm?” Sirius replied, comfortably laying on top of Remus and smiling as he twirled the ring around in between their faces, as if proud of his small achievement.

“You’re sort of...uh, still on top of me?”

“Oh shit, you’re right,” Sirius blushed but made no move to crawl off of his friend. And Remus made no move to pull his hands away either. “Hey, Rem?”

“Hm?” Remus hummed, not really minding that Sirius hadn’t moved. He’d completely forgotten his nerves from the past few weeks, thinking nothing had ever felt more right than laying together with Sirius’ warm body on top of him like this. Remus kept his eyes fixed on Sirius, and the way the other boy’s dark hair blended in with the near black blue sky above them made him smirk.

Remus was always so good at pushing Sirius to face his fears—like that time he’d made him try broccoli—and now was no exception. It was Remus’ sweet, reassuring smile that gave Sirius the courage he’d been looking for all along to finally speak his mind.

“I have something I want to show you,” he said, taking a deep breath as he shifted off of Remus to lay on his left side. Sirius wiggled his way out of his signature leather jacket and Remus watched expectantly, definitely not admiring the way Sirius’ shirt clung to his thin torso as he twisted out of his jacket. “Do you like it, Moony?” Sirius asked as he held his right arm out in front of him, letting Remus examine the grey and black phases of the moon that delicately trailed down the underside of his forearm.

Sirius’ tattoo still stung a little, especially because it was the largest one he’d ever gotten. But he ignored the pain in favor of biting his lip and holding his breath as he awaited Remus’ reaction.

“Wow...bloody hell, Pads...It’s brilliant,” Remus breathed in awe, propping himself up on one arm and reaching his fingers out to glide over the tattoo without actually touching it. Sirius felt his heart thump hard in his chest at Remus’ approval and loudly let out the breath he’d been holding, immediately spoiling the moment.

“It’s for you!—I mean, I got it for you! It’s about you! I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I’m shouting,” Sirius rambled, feeling his face heat up after his unnecessary word vomit.

Remus raised an eyebrow and moved to sit up, both so he could get a better look at Sirius’ tattoo and talk to his friend about whatever he clearly needed to get off his chest.

“For me? You mean...because—oh!” Remus exclaimed when realization dawned on him.

“Because...you’re my Moony—er, _our_ Moony,” he said, nodding as his face went from tomato red to an even deeper crimson. “Rem, I…remember earlier, when I said I couldn’t stop thinking ‘bout your party? Well...what I shoulda said was I couldn’t stop thinking about _you_ ,” he admitted, feeling his throat go dry, but pressing on regardless.

Remus held his breath. He’d imagined this moment many times and he could be very wrong about what Sirius was going to say. But he could feel his heart thumping hard against his chest. He even leaned forward subconsciously to better listen to what his friend had to say. Sirius had his full attention.

And having Remus’ full attention was a bit more intimidating in real life than when Sirius had practiced the conversation over and over in his head. But Sirius had come this far, and he wasn’t about to quit.

“You remember that time in year seven when Prongs kicked Andy Harris in the bollocks for calling me a ponce?”

Remus nodded, remembering the moment vividly because it was one of the first times he’d ever seen Sirius look genuinely embarrassed. But they’d all had a good laugh when Andy waddled off, clutching the front of his pants with a pathetic groan.

“Well...funny as it was, I think he might’ve been on to something,” Sirius breathed. He cleared his throat and looked up from his fingers to meet Remus’ attentive and trustworthy eyes. “Moony, I like blokes, and not just on occasion when I’m too pissed on Guinness to think straight. I, um...I _only_ like blokes.”

Remus blinked several times, trying to process the information. It was a total surprise, but he could tell from the look on Sirius’ face that this was the first time he’d ever told anyone. Remus couldn’t help but feel touched that Sirius had chosen him to be the first.

“Pads, I—that’s great. I mean, I’m glad you told me. You know none of us would ever love you any less ‘cause of who you like, yeah?” he asked, giving Sirius a small smile as he reached out to cover his best friend’s hand with his own. Sirius nodded a little and smiled back, glad one weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Now it was really time to rip the band-aid off. “But...what does that have to do with you thinking about my party?” Remus wondered aloud.

“Well, when I say party...I really mean _you_. I’ve never been able to stop thinking about you, if I’m honest,” Sirius sighed. He liked the warmth of Remus’ hand on top of his own. “Moony, I got this tattoo because I can never stop thinking about you, and I know I’m going to carry you around in my heart for the rest of my life no matter what happens. You’re my best friend, but you’re also one of the only people I can turn to when life’s tearing me down or when I need advice about how not to make my life an even bigger pile of shit than it’s already been. You’re a bloody genius with a heart like a kitten and a face any girl would go nutters over...but I’m asking...I don’t want you to love a girl,” he sighed, needing a moment to breathe and collect his thoughts because he knew he was about to ask a lot out of Remus. “I never wanted you to go along with James’ ridiculous plan to get laid and, I know it’s selfish, but I felt on top of the world when you came back to the flat without a girl on your birthday and we danced and...we kissed and...oh Moons, you’re not going to make me say it, are you?” Sirius pleaded.

But Remus was still watching him closely, wide-eyed and stoic in a way that made Sirius’ heart feel like it was about to jump out of his chest. The underreaction made Sirius feel nauseous. He always knew Remus would reject him and here it was, about to happen right before his eyes.  

“Remus...I love you. You’re my Moony, and I love you like James loves his reflection or like Pete loves cakes, and that’s not going to change. And I get it if you don’t feel the same because you’ve hardly ever kissed anyone and probably don’t even like blokes, so I know it’s a lot to take in, but—“ Sirius rambled, but Remus interrupted.

“That isn’t true,” Remus said softly, choosing to ignore Sirius’ declaration of love for a second.

“Huh?” Sirius asked, confused.

“What you said, about me never having kissed anyone...or liking boys. I...I may not have had my first time like James insists I should have, but I have done one or two other things…” Remus admitted nervously, and now it was his turn to blush. So Remus took the time to briefly explain his temporary relationship with Edgar Bones. He told Sirius about their trysts in the library and the stolen kisses in classrooms and how it’d hurt him beyond belief to realize he’d been nothing more than a quick shag to the other boy, even though they’d technically never gotten that far. “I just...it was hard, you know? I wasn’t sure who I could trust after that. I felt...I dunno, like I wasn’t enough, like other people would only see me the way he saw me. I kissed a few people after that—birds, blokes. But it always hurt too much to go any further. I’ve always been afraid they’d leave me like he did, like I didn’t mean anything to them,” Remus explained, his own heart thumping hard in his chest from a strange mixture of sadness and anticipation. It’d been a long time since he’d been so vulnerable with anyone, not since his mum had passed away a couple years ago.

“Rem...I had no idea,” Sirius frowned. “Edgar Bones can go fuck himself. He doesn’t deserve you. No one does with a heart like yours,” he said honestly. Sirius was less surprised to hear that Remus had an interest in both women and men and more outraged that another person had been given the opportunity to kiss Remus’ perfect lips and still broken his heart. Edgar Bones must’ve been mad to turn Remus down, he thought. “And I’d never leave you the way he did. Anyone would be crazy do something like that when it comes to you. Moony, you’re golden. You’re the funniest, kindest, most bloody fit person I’ve ever seen in my life and I love you. I’ve been waiting over a decade to tell you that...So do you think you could ever feel the same about me?” Sirius asked, his last sentence spoken so softly that Remus hardly heard it.

Remus was quiet for another long moment that made Sirius’ stomach tighten and lurch like he was about to lose his curry any second. Remus looked at his hand resting on top of Sirius’ and gave it a little squeeze, turning his eyes to the tattoo and staring for a long moment before shaking his head ever so slightly.

“Oh Moony...Moony, no, please. Don’t do this. I’ll get a different tattoo. One you like better. Anything you want, I swear. Just don’t do this. I feel like I’m about to explode and become the next starman in the sky,” Sirius pleaded dramatically, misinterpreting Remus’ head shake until the other boy smiled.

“Calm down, Pads. You’re so fucking dramatic,” Remus said, continuing to shake his head as a laugh bubbled up from his throat. “I was just going to say you should’ve let me come with you, so I could get some stars to match your moons,” he grinned, a twinkle in his eye as he leaned closer to Sirius, their faces centimeters apart.

“Wait, are you saying—“ Sirius began, and nearly jumped out of his skin when Remus grinned at him. “You absolute arse! I thought you were going to reject me this entire time and—but you really mean it?”

“Yes, you dolt,” Remus said with a laugh. “Pads, who do you think your secret admirer was on all those Valentine’s Days at school? It sure as hell wasn’t Wormtail or Prongs, because they hardly remember your birthday. Sirius, I’ve loved you for longer than I can remember. And I think you’re an idiot for being so impulsive and getting a tattoo about me without talking to me first—so you’re lucky I like it a lot. But you’re also hilarious and surprisingly sweet and the only person I can talk to in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep, and no one has ever made me happier,” Remus explained. “Pads...I love you, too,” he said softly.

But Sirius only caught a glimpse of Remus’ smile because he couldn’t contain his glee, pouncing on the other boy the second he finished speaking to claim the kiss he’d been after for years. Remus groaned, first out of surprise and then because Sirius was a much better kisser than Edgar Bones had ever been. As much as Sirius had been waiting for this moment, so had Remus, and it was already better than either of them could have ever imagined.

Sirius may have gotten a little carried away with the kiss, practically crushing Remus as he pressed his back into the blanket and let his tongue have free reign of the other boy’s mouth. He just wanted to make sure he took as much advantage of the kiss as he could, just in case Remus changed his mind when they pulled apart. Their teeth clashed and Sirius forgot to breathe a little, but Remus’ lips were warm and encouraging, so he pressed on. Despite Sirius’ over-enthusiasm, Remus still sighed happily, melting into the kiss and tangling his fingers in his best friend’s long hair. After a couple minutes, they pulled apart panting, both their faces flushed and eyes wide with amazement at how long it had taken them to get to this point.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Sirius laughed breathily, looking down at Remus with the most pleased smirk Remus had ever seen him wear.

“Bet I’ve waited longer,” Remus grinned back with flushed cheeks, a warm and fuzzy feeling bubbling up in his belly.

“You know you’re my favorite marauder?” Sirius sighed happily, licking his lips as he considered leaning down for more.

“Oh come off it,” Remus chuckled, combing his fingers through Sirius’ hair and staring up at his soft grey eyes, brighter than the entire map of the solar system behind him. “You don’t have favorites. And if anything it’s James.”

“James is like a brother but you, you’re something else...something special…” he said seriously, a hand rubbing soft circles against the front of Remus’ jumper.

“Pads...you’re something special to me, too,” Remus said with a lopsided smile.

“So, you don’t hate me?” Sirius asked suddenly.

“ _Hate_ you? I thought I was the one who hit their head on the pavement when you pounced on me just now. You’re ridiculous if you think I feel anything but love for you, Sirius. You’re my best mate...but I’d also really like for you to be more,” Remus said, his last few words a whisper as his hand trailed through Sirius’ hair to cup the back of his neck and pull him in for another deep kiss.

Their second kiss was slower, softer, like Remus was trying to communicate to Sirius how long he’d waited to have the other boy in his arms like this and how painful it’d been to hide his love for his best friend for so long. Sirius could feel Remus’ unspoken words through the tingling of their lips and the soft thump of Remus’ heartbeat against his own.

“Oh Moony, there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more than to be yours,” Sirius confessed, knowing James would kick his arse on the spot if he ever heard him say something so vulnerable.

Just knowing that Remus felt the same about him made the last month of destroying himself inside out with worry completely worth it. Sirius let Remus pull him down into a third kiss, a hungrier kiss that made him whine softly and crawl further on top of his best friend so that he had one knee in between Remus’ outstretched legs. Sirius sucked on Remus’ bottom lip, scooting forward eagerly to capture the other boy’s face in both hands, his long hair falling on either side of Remus’ face and forming a protective curtain around them, a shield from the world around them.

Now past the point of hesitation, Sirius let his tongue trace every inch of Remus’ mouth as if he were trying to memorize it. The boy beneath him squirmed, wrapping his arms snuggly around Sirius’ tight t-shirt and hugging him close. Meanwhile, Sirius groaned at the way Remus sucked at his lip, halfway between a breathtaking snog and a tender string of reassuring kisses that made Sirius’ entire body tingle. He groaned into the kiss and rocked his leg forward with purpose. Remus had unknowingly teased him many times in the past, but this was purposeful, and it was all too much for Sirius. So he couldn’t resist creating a little friction in the hopes that Remus was ready to put any teasing about his virginity to rest once and for all.

Remus couldn’t hold back a gasp of pleasure at the way Sirius’ knee rubbed in between his legs. Gently, he placed a hand on the other boy’s shoulder and pushed him back, looking up at Sirius with love and a sort of mischief in his eyes that made Sirius shiver with excitement. Even with Remus’ eyes reflecting the twinkling stars above them, Sirius knew his best friend—boyfriend? lover?—had something more than kissing in mind, which was exactly what he’d been hoping for.

“It’s getting pretty cold out...Let’s take this inside, yeah?” Remus suggested. His voice was soft and low in a way that—along with Remus’ hand caressing his cheek—made Sirius nod instantly, all ability for speech stolen away by the beautiful boy beneath him.

They were both up in an instant. Remus carried the blanket over his shoulder, and Sirius hurled the empty takeaway containers in the nearest trash bin. Giggling, they made their way hand-in-hand down the steps to their vacant flat. As the front door shut behind them and they raced each other to Remus’ bedroom, Sirius had a warm feeling in his lower belly that he was about to feel screwed in a whole new way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was totally going to include some smut in this chapter but it’s already way longer than all the others, so I had to cut it off somewhere. But I’ve got something good in store for the next chapter! ;)


	5. April 15, 1980 — In Which James Potter Has Never Been More Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy smut and more fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the fastest I've ever updated haha. Thank you to everyone who has read this far! (I know the last chapter was pretty long but this fic is now like 30% smut lol so please enjoy!!)

Sirius sucked in a deep breath the minute Remus’ bedroom door shut behind him. He couldn’t believe he’d finally made it inside. Apart from holding the door open for Remus as he’d carried in some of his boxes when they first moved in, he’d never had reason to go into the room. Now, he looked around and saw that a few of those boxes remained unpacked, clothes pouring over the edges and books scattered across nearly every available inch of floor.

“Sorry about the mess,” Remus laughed awkwardly and quickly moved to compile some of his stacks of books into a few larger stacks along the wall. “I don’t always get a chance to finish reading them at the library, so I check them out and bring them home. A lot of them are gifts, too,” he explained in embarrassment. Sirius watched in amusement as the other boy shuffled around, trying to clean up.

“No problem, Moons. I always imagined you’d live in a library of sorts, anyway,” he said with a teasing chuckle. Though Remus had always been the tidiest marauder, Sirius was glad to see that Moony had a few dirty little secrets of his own—even if it was only because he was a huge nerd.

Sirius took a few steps further into the dimly-lit room. Remus seemed to prefer candles and moonlight over electricity, which left the entire room doused in a soft blue light coming through the window. He smiled and ran his fingers over the spines of a few books on Remus’ side table and along the purplish lava lamp resting beside them. Sirius gingerly sat on the edge of Remus’ small double bed, beside his pillow, and was immediately overwhelmed by the scent of his best mate all around him. It was an aromatic mixture of coffee, cinnamon and chocolate. It made Sirius remember how, sometimes in the summer, Remus smelled a bit like oranges, which he always thought was rather fitting because the other boy was so sweet.

“Alright?” Remus asked as he suddenly sat down beside Sirius, startling him from his wandering thoughts. Remus looked at him with that naturally reassuring smile of his and Sirius sighed softly. In the background, he now noticed the soft sound of the _Rumours_ album Remus had set to play on his record player.

“Mmhm,” he hummed and scooted just a bit closer to close any gap left between them on the bed. Sirius reached up to gently push his fingers through Remus’ hair and let his hand rest on the back of the other boy’s neck. “This lighting really brings out the green in your eyes, you know,” he mumbled softly, looking up at Remus with a twinkle in his eyes.

Remus grinned in response and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Sirius’, admiring the pale grey of Sirius’ own eyes. The boys got lost in each other’s eyes for a long moment, not saying anything as they listened to each other’s steady breathing.

“Padfoot, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to romance me,” Remus said with a teasing smile, their lips brushing together just barely as Remus spoke. Sirius shivered and leaned in for more, successfully capturing Remus’ lips in a tender and loving kiss, his grip on the back of the other boy’s neck becoming more secure.

“You’re right,” Sirius breathed against Remus’ lips, never breaking the kiss. He sighed through his nose and hummed into Remus’ mouth as he pulled him closer, marveling at the unfamiliar yet incredible feeling of his best mate’s tongue carefully exploring the inside of his mouth. He brought his other arm around Remus’ back and hugged him tighter as the kiss deepened. When they pulled apart for air, Sirius brought his legs up onto the bed, having already kicked his shoes aside, and scooted backward up against the headboard, holding his arms out to welcome Remus to lie on top of him.

Remus smiled at Sirius playfully, kicking his own shoes to the floor as well before he moved to crawl on top of the other boy, his legs straddling either side of Sirius’ hips. He settled down on top of Sirius and felt the other boy immediately begin to wiggle his hips insistently underneath him.   

“ _Padfoot_ ,” Remus scolded with a grin and Sirius smirked up at him. Sirius often defaulted to his sillier side when he was feeling nervous. And, as excited as he was at the moment, he was terrified he’d mess up and scare Remus away.

“Sorry, I just...I’ve wanted you so long. I’ve loved you so long...I can’t believe you’re really _here_ ,” Sirius explained, his voice soft in a way that let Remus know the bad boy rebel rock ‘n’ roller Sirius Black was nowhere to be found. Instead, he’d been replaced by this charmingly sweet and surprisingly nervous boy, who he’d known his entire life and only just had the courage to tell how he felt. Remus had a sudden urge to make up for all that lost time.

“I never thought _I’d_ be the one to make you blush,” Remus teased quietly as he rubbed circles against Sirius’ chest with one hand. “Flustered looks really good on you,” he added in a near-whisper, humming as he leaned down to nip at Sirius’ bottom lip and leave kisses along his smooth jawline. This was nothing like kissing Edgar Bones, and Remus wouldn’t have it any other way.

Remus’ hand trailed lower in between them, smoothing over Sirius’ belly until his fingers slipped just under the hem of his shirt and he could slide his whole hand up to feel Sirius’ smooth skin. “You’re warm,” he added, nuzzling the soft skin beneath Sirius’ ear.

Meanwhile, Sirius was panting softly, unable to hold back as he rocked his hips upward to meet with Remus’ over and over. He bit his lip as Remus trailed kisses along his jawline and gasped when the other boy licked his earlobe. Remus’ mouth on his neck felt hot as the other boy’s lips sucked so delicately at his tender skin. Sirius rocked up more forcefully and whined when Remus pulled away.

“Moony, _please_. I want more,” he breathed, his eyes pleading as he looked up at Remus. This was an unusual situation for Sirius to be in. He’d gotten into bed with only a handful of men before, despite his constant bragging about all the people—mostly made-up girls—who he’d shown a good time. But in the few instances where he did manage to find himself in bed with someone, he was always in control. He was hungry and he knew what he wanted, leading every partner he’d ever had to achieve a firework-inducing level of satisfaction.

Now, though, with Remus on top of him like this, everything just felt right. He could feel the other boy’s heartbeat against his chest through their clothes. And Remus’ long arms and legs wrapped around him like this made him never want to leave his embrace.

Remus pulled back and smiled sweetly down at Sirius. His long fingers still traced over Sirius’ warm skin and he was reminded briefly of Edgar and the way he’d been rejected. Remus frowned a bit, never happy when he remembered that boy.

“Rem? What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, reaching up to rest a hand on Remus’ cheek with worry as he noticed the look of hesitation on the other boy’s face.

“I...it’s stupid but I...you remember what I said earlier about how that bloke Edgar made me feel like...like I’m not good enough?” Remus asked softly. Sirius’ gaze hardened and he nodded, not afraid to show his distaste for Edgar Bones in the slightest.

“Yes...he hurt you. But I’m never going to let anyone treat you like that again,” Sirius insisted, brushing a thumb gently back and forth over Remus’ jawline. “I wouldn’t have let him get away with it back then to begin with if you’d told me…” he added. “But that’s beside the point.”

Remus licked his lips and traced a slow swirl pattern on Sirius’ chest with his finger as he tried to gather his thoughts.

“I know you said what he did is wrong and that I didn’t deserve it, but...but what if he was right, Pads? What if I’m not worth it? Are you...are you going to leave me after this, too?” Remus asked, his breath barely a whisper as his eyes dared to meet Sirius’. He felt terrible accusing Sirius for even being capable of snubbing him the way Edgar had, because he knew the two boys were nothing alike. But he had to know for sure. He had to clear his head of any and all lingering doubt if they were really going to make this work.

“Remus, I...no. No, Rem, of course not,” Sirius whispered back in disbelief, bringing both hands up to Remus’ cheeks now to keep the other boy’s eyes fixed on his own. “You’re not some quick shag from a nightclub. You’re my best friend in the entire world, and I would never do anything to hurt you. Do you understand?” Sirius asked, covering Remus’ hand on his chest with his own and pressing down so the other boy could feel his rapid heartbeat directly through his palm now. “I’m scared, too. Believe it or not, I really haven’t done this that many times,” Sirius admitted. “And I’ve never felt...well, never felt like _this_. The way you make my insides go all squirmy, my head feel light...I can’t explain it Moony…But I think it’s love. And I don’t wanna ever stop feeling that with you,” Sirius explained, his voice soft and eyes reassuring as he fixed Remus with a gentle gaze.

Remus heard a small whine escape the back of his throat, not out of lust but out of love. He’d never heard anyone say anything so honest and passionate and sweet, not in all the novels he’d read or any of the films he’d ever seen. And he’d certainly never heard anyone say such words to _him_. The way Sirius was looking at him now and holding his hand so tightly, Remus knew that he’d never been more sure of anything in his life than the fact that he wanted to be with Sirius.

“I can’t believe I didn’t come to you sooner,” Remus breathed, leaning down to rest his forehead against Sirius’ and cup the other boy’s cheeks, pulling his face up to kiss him more passionately than he had ever before. Sirius melted into the kiss, his hands bunching up the back of Remus’ shirt as he clung to the other boy and pulled him closer for more. He moaned softly when Remus’ tongue slid across his own, and a shiver ran down Sirius’ spine as the other boy began meeting his needy thrusts with a gentle rocking of his own hips.

Sirius was half hard by the time they pulled apart, panting as he gazed into Remus’ eyes, his own heavy with lust.

“Blimey, Rem. I always knew you were good with words, but I never knew your mouth could do all _that_ ,” he breathed in dazed satisfaction. Remus chuckled softly and leaned in to nuzzle their noses together.

“That’s not all it can do…” he whispered, relishing in the way Sirius’ pupils widened at his words. All of a sudden, Sirius began squirming and scrambling excitedly beneath him, tugging at every bit of fabric he could get his hands on.

“Moooony, oh god, Moony, why are you wearing so many clothes,” Sirius groaned in a way that reminded Remus of when they were in year six and Sirius would whine because he’d been caught in a game of tag or because he’d lost at marbles. He laughed and joined in, helping shed as many clothes as possible. Sirius worked on Remus’ jumper and managed to tug it over his head, only to find that Remus was wearing a shirt with far too many buttons underneath, and he huffed in offense at the garment.

Remus laughed again and shook his head as he sat back on top of Sirius and slowly worked at the buttons, making Sirius even more squirmy and impatient. But Remus weighed him down, slowly opening the buttons of his shirt and revealing a pale chest, scarred from past events that even Sirius wasn’t fully clued in on. All he knew was that the scars had something to do with a camping trip that Remus refused to talk about. Still, Sirius was too stunned to take his eyes off Remus, and soon stopped his wiggling to marvel at the beauty of the other boy on top of him. He’d seen his friend with his shirt off a few times—since Remus generally liked to keep it on—but never like this. Remus’ skin was like a map that he could read if his eyes searched just right. He hoped that, maybe someday, Remus would feel secure enough to share with him and the other marauders how that story had come to be etched in jagged marks all across his skin.

When Remus had his shirt all the way open and had slipped it off his shoulders, Sirius couldn’t help but reach a hand out and slowly drag it down the other boy’s chest, all the way to his belly button. The entire time, Remus held his breath and watched Sirius, afraid he wouldn’t like what he saw. But, instead of disgust or blatant rejection, Sirius wore a baffled look of amazement that Remus thought people only reserved for celebrities or the loves of their lives.

“I want to feel your skin on mine,” Sirius whispered so sweetly that it almost sounded like a wish, and Remus was happy to oblige. Now that Sirius had calmed down some, Remus was able to help him slip his t-shirt over his head. He paused to take in the sight below him, his eyes trailing up from the patch of coarse black hair just under Sirius’s belly button and all the way to the little cluster of stars on the other boy’s left shoulder. Remus brushed his fingers over each of the little inky black stars and smiled as if frozen in his own little headspace.

“ _Mooony_ ,” Sirius whined again, snapping Remus out of his trance. Sirius rutted up against Remus again and groaned because the contact wasn’t enough. As if his mind had just snapped back to what they were doing, Remus nodded quickly and began to undo his belt buckle, tossing it onto the floor on top of his discarded shirt and jumper. Sirius’s fingers were already fumbling with his button and zip and Remus could sense the strong need radiating from the other boy. Briefly, Remus crawled off of Sirius and the other boy whined again. Remus slid off his own jeans and then Sirius’ so they were both left wearing nothing but their boxer shorts when he climbed back onto his friend with a small smirk.

Remus smoothed his hands down Sirius’s chest and arms, making sure to be careful with the fresh moon tattoo, which still made his heart feel all fuzzy inside. He liked the feeling of the hard planes of Sirius’ chest beneath his fingers, and he pressed his hand flat to the smooth skin. Experimentally, he brushed a thumb over one of Sirius’ small brown nipples, making the other boy shiver and arch his back, leaning up into the touch as if asking for more.

Remus smiled and captured Sirius’ lips in another soft kiss that Sirius quickly deepened, wrapping his arms tight around Remus with a pleased moan into the other boy’s mouth. Remus pulled back with a grin and nibbled at Sirius’ jaw, sucking softly at Sirius’ neck and making his way down to nip at his collarbone. By now, Remus could feel the situation in his pants becoming far more pressing as he listened to the soft sounds of approval Sirius made with every touch. Sirius pressed his fingers into the skin of Remus’ back, encouraging him to go lower and gasping when he felt Remus’ tongue slide over a sensitive nub.

“Wha—is this okay?” Remus asked, lifting his head suddenly to make sure he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“It feels bloody great, Rem. Fucking wonderful,” Sirius breathed, arching up again for more. Remus smirked a little and bent his head lower once more to swirl his tongue over the other boy’s nub, using slow, delicate motions to elicit as many delicious sounds out of Sirius as possible. He nipped softly at the tender flesh before he did the same to Sirius’ other side, causing the blissed-out boy to tangle his fingers in Remus’ short auburn hair. “Moony, _more_...please,” Sirius panted, eyes shut as he enjoyed the gentle touches. That seemed to be his favorite word tonight, Remus thought, smirking against Sirius’ warm skin.

Remus left a trail of kisses down the center of Sirius’ chest, nuzzling his stomach once he got to his belly button. His hand smoothed up and down Sirius’ right leg and over the thin fabric of his boxers, slowly working its way inward to rub at Sirius’ inner thigh. Remus stopped a second later and lifted his eyes. Sirius’ panting was louder now and he couldn’t help but lift his head to look down at Remus, only to find the other boy staring up at him questioningly. It took Sirius a moment to realize Remus was asking for his permission to continue and he smiled sweetly at the look in his friend’s eyes. Sirius nodded instantly, returning Remus’ playful smirk as he watched the other boy press warm kisses against his lower belly and saw Remus’ long fingers slipping beneath his waistband. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath.

For his part, Remus was surprisingly calm. It was a strange situation to be in, about to go down on his best friend of over a decade. But it was also exciting in more ways than one.

Once Sirius had proclaimed his love and promised not to leave him, he felt a thin wall he’d been holding up between them for so long finally crumble. And that’s when the invisible tether between the two of them started to tug, making Remus feel like he was finally where he was supposed to be, with who he was meant to be with. His room had never felt more like home than with Sirius in it like this.

“Wow,” Remus breathed, having just pulled down the right side of Sirius’ boxers to reveal the top half of his Aladdin Sane lightning bolt, which curved along the v in his hips and down his thigh. “You’re always ready to rock ‘n’ roll, aren’t you?” Remus asked teasingly, as a way to ease any lingering tension.

Sirius, who was already half hard and still somewhat nervous on his end, let out a sound that was a mixture between a chuckle and a whimper.

“You can touch it...if you want,” he told Remus, speaking softly because he still couldn’t believe how far they’d come that night and he didn’t want to scare Remus away. But he desperately needed to be touched, and soon. Just a few hours before, Sirius had been in his room racking his brain about whether to confess his feelings to the boy whose lips were now kissing the tattoo on his hip so tenderly that he never wanted him to stop.

“I like it,” Remus said, brushing his fingers delicately over the tattoo and giving Sirius a sweet smile before he slowly pulled his boxers the rest of the way down. Sirius panted softly, glad to be free of his underwear but also watching Remus closely to gauge his reaction. Meanwhile, Remus took a couple seconds to take in the sight before him, mesmerized by Sirius’ stiff pink length, more than ready to be touched by the looks of it.

Remus obliged a second later, his fingers combing through the soft black curls and brushing up against the side of Sirius’ now throbbing length. Sirius practically purred when Remus’ palm wrapped around his aching member, spreading his legs further apart and bending his knees to make room for the other boy in between them.

Remus was panting at the sight of Sirius writhing before him. He tugged gently at Sirius’ length and the other boy whimpered needily. Remus could feel his own lower half stiffen and begin to leak against the inside of his pants, so he quickly shucked then onto the floor and returned his attention to Sirius. His breathing was loud in his ears as his hand wrapped around Sirius’ length once more and he brushed his thumb over the glistening tip. Sirius might have been the one squirming and whining, but Remus’ insides were flip-flopping in such a way that he felt he might explode if he didn’t do something more soon, because he wanted badly to be as close as possible to the other boy.

“Ohh yes...yes, Moony. Just like that,” Sirius moaned encouragingly, shamelessly thrusting up into his friend’s hand. Remus licked his lips, breathing shallow as instinct took over and he leaned down to wrap his hot pink lips around the head of Sirius’ hard prick. The groan that passed over Sirius’ lips in the next moment was unlike anything Remus had ever heard before. “Bloody—oh! Please more, Rem. Your lips feel sooo good,” Sirius begged, his hand moving down to tangle in Remus’ hair as the other curled tight around the sheets beneath him.

Remus sucked softly at first, bobbing his head back and forth faster when Sirius begged for more. He ran his tongue over the slit and swirled it around in a way that must have felt good, because Sirius was a wreck, writhing from side-to-side and tightening his grip on Remus’ hair. Sirius’ length was too much for Remus to take in all at once, something that had never been a problem with Edgar. But he did his best to take in as much as possible, hollowing his cheeks and sucking hard as he used his right hand to squeeze at the base that he wasn’t able to reach with his lips. The warmth of Remus’ mouth and the gentle caress of his tongue was enough to make Sirius’ head spin and his eyes roll back as he buried his face in the pillow beside him.

“Motherfucking—oh! Remus...your mouth...oh yesss,” Sirius groaned, doing his best to keep Remus’ head as close as possible without forcing him down too hard. His body was tingling with a mixture of unparalleled pleasure and concern for Remus, wanting to make sure he felt as good as possible as well. As Sirius’ head spun and he felt the thump of his racing heart in his chest, he also felt a sudden need to return Remus’ favor.

Remus had just finished a particularly thorough go over of Sirius’ length with his tongue when Sirius reluctantly pulled him up for a breathtaking kiss. He moaned against the other boy’s mouth and was forced to break the kiss a moment later for air, still panting. Sirius took the opportunity to slide his hand in between them and slip his fingers beneath Remus’ waistband. He brushed his fingertips over the leaking head and held the other boy’s gaze, his own eyes filled with lust.

“Let me take care of you, Moony,” he breathed and licked his lips, hinting that he wanted to help the other boy out as well. Remus’ mouth had felt incredible all around him, but this wasn’t about how Sirius felt. He only wanted Remus to experience the sensation of being loved all over.

“No, next time, love,” Remus insisted, smirking at the way Sirius’ eyes widened at the use of the pet name. “I need you now,” he added, breathing softly as his hand gently cupped Sirius’ balls and he reached lower to press his index finger against the other boy’s entrance. Remus rubbed his finger over the sensitive spot and pressed in just enough to elicit a strangled moan from the boy beneath him.

Sirius panted like an animal in heat, suddenly wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck and hooking both legs around his waist. He used all his strength to pull Remus down for a hungry kiss and roll them over so that he was on top of the other boy now.

“I want you to fuck me, Moons,” Sirius breathed against Remus’ ear. He could feel his friend shiver beneath him and Sirius smirked. But his smirk quickly turned into an open-mouthed look of surprise as Remus returned his hand to its previous position and tried to wiggle his finger in deeper. “Oh! Bloody hell, love. Hold on a minute,” Sirius said and huffed out a laugh at Remus’ eagerness.

After some awkward fumbling, Sirius managed to dig a small bottle of lube out of Remus’ bedside table. Remus promised he only used it on occasion, looking embarrassed. But Sirius only grinned because they shared a wall and he’d had more than a few good times of his own after overhearing Remus unwind.

Sirius twisted open the bottle of lube, surprised to find that the scent was something he’d mistaken as Remus’ cologne a few times. He squeezed a bit into his palm and kept eye contact with Remus as he reached between them to stroke the other boy’s length over and over, effectively coating his length in lube and making Remus even harder.

Remus whimpered and steady his hands on Sirius’ shoulders. He gulped, nervous that he wouldn’t be good enough, that Sirius would roll off of him in a minute, dissatisfied and upset. Sirius noticed the look in Remus’ eyes and pressed their foreheads together, loosening his grip on Remus’ cock.

“Hey, it’s just us, okay? I don’t think anyone knows me better than you, Rem,” Sirius whispered reassuringly, as if he’d managed to read Remus’ mind. Remus seemed to think this over for a second before pressing the gentlest kiss to Sirius’ lips.

“Show me, Pads. I want to make you feel good,” Remus said sweetly and Sirius had to lean in and kiss the other boy for his natural tenderness. Sirius caressed Remus’ cheek in one last tender gesture before nodding and slipping Remus’ boxers off, tossing them onto the floor. They were skin-to-skin now and Remus had never felt anything so intimate or so right.

Sirius took Remus’ hand and kissed his palm before squeezing a dollop of lube onto his fingers. He showed Remus how to rub it around and guided the other boy’s hand to his entrance once more.

“Just go slow and add one finger at a time, yeah?” Sirius explained, trusting Remus not to hurt him. Remus knew how big this moment was, and he nodded in understanding as he slowly slipped a finger inside of Sirius. The other boy squirmed on top of him, his hands pressed flat against Remus’ bare chest. But Sirius pushed him to continue, rocking himself back and forth on Remus’ hand as two and then three fingers slipped inside him. Remus curled his fingers forward and Sirius bit his bottom lip, digging his fingers into Remus’ chest as his eyes squeezed shut.

“Fucking yes, Rem, yes. You’re doing so well. Right there,” Sirius panted. He kept rocking for a minute or two, unable to stop himself, until he had to or else he’d push himself to far. Sirius eased himself off Remus’ fingers and left a trail of kisses down his chest, stopping to lick at one of the other boy’s pink nubs just to see his reaction.

Remus stiffened beneath him and whined loudly, hands gripping either side of Sirius’ slender waist as he stared up at his friend, eyes begging for more.

“You ready?” Sirius asked smiling sweetly. Remus took his last vestal breath, and he could practically hear James cheering for him on the other side of town as Sirius sank slowly down onto his hardened prick. Remus gasped, pulling Sirius forward to hug him close, reveling in the moment and unable to speak as he got used to the sensation of having Sirius all around him. “Rem? Are y-you okay?” Sirius asked, still adjusting to the feeling himself.

Remus grunted, catching his breath as he nodded up at Sirius.

“Please, Sirius...move,” Remus begged, his voice husky and pleading.

Sirius was more than willing to accommodate. He clung to Remus’ chest and lifted himself up before immediately sinking down onto Remus’ length again. Both boys moaned and Remus couldn’t help but thrust upward when Sirius sank down to meet him again. Sirius all but shouted as Remus hit him in just the right spot, clinging to the other boy as if his life depended on it.

“Holy shit, holy fucking hell Remus—again!” Sirius insisted, becoming needier by the second.

Remus had his hands wrapped around Sirius’ arms at the elbows, holding him in place as one thrust up and the other sank down. The momentum of both boys simultaneously fucking each other was enough to make Remus feel dizzy and hot in all the right places. His own pants and groans mixed with Sirius’ until they were the only sound in the room, aside from the rubbing of skin against skin. He gasped when Sirius rotated his hips in a circle, nearly biting his own tongue as he opened his mouth to let out a lascivious groan.

He could feel himself already nearing the edge. And, in that moment, Remus did his best to clear his mind of the delicious sounds Sirius was making or the gorgeous sight above him, lest he should finish early and ruin one of the most spectacular moments of his life. So he forced himself to think about organizing his sock drawer and reading up on the history of the Queen, anything he could to stall his impending orgasm.

Remus panted and huffed, pulling Sirius in for a hard kiss that made his lips hurt and his groin ache with need. Sirius never stopped rocking, seemingly on a mission to drive Remus absolutely insane. How the other boy held on for so long, Remus had no idea. But he had no intention of asking Sirius to stop, either.

Once they’d pulled apart from the kiss, Sirius grinned, a hungry look in his eye as he began to bounce needily up and down on Remus’ length, causing the longer boy to wrap his arms around Sirius’ neck and torso and any part of him he could reach, hugging him tighter than ever before. Sirius rotated his hips again, powering on without pause, desperate to keep Remus inside him for as long as possible.

“H-holy Mick-fucking-Jagger, Rem. Yes! Don’t stop,” Sirius said breathily when Remus thrust into him at a particularly brilliant angle.

At the same time, Remus slipped one arm in between them to stroke at the other boy’s equally hard length. Sirius gasped at that and seemed to be thrown off from his rhythm momentarily, making Remus smirk to himself happily. Sirius now thrust into Remus’ hand, bouncing up and down faster and faster as Remus’ grip tightened around his throbbing member and Sirius felt himself tremble.

“Remus! Oh my god! Remus, I’m gonna c—!” His vision went blurry and his fingernails dug half-moons into Remus’ chest as he shook with the intensity of his mind-blowing orgasm, Remus’ hand stroking and squeezing constantly, carrying him through to the very end. He’d finished all over both their stomachs, leaving them both sticky and warm. But Sirius only let himself revel in the pleasure for a moment before he collected himself and continued, still eager to make Remus cum.

Between Sirius’ bouncing and his own thrusting, Remus felt his head go light with bliss. He wouldn’t have remembered his own name in that moment if Sirius had said it because of how absolutely lost he was in the heady sensation of Sirius’ body joining with his own. Sirius tangled a hand in Remus’ hair and pressed the other flat to his chest to steady himself once more, using every ounce of energy he had left to ride Remus without stopping. Remus groaned and scrambled with the sheets, clinging to Sirius as he felt the other boy’s arse clench around his aching length. The pressure of it all was too much and Remus could only stand a few more thrusts before he felt himself spill inside his best mate.

“Sirius, Sirius, S-s-sirius...Ohhh! Sirius!” Remus cried as the best orgasm of his life overcame him, his whole body a twitching wreck as he clung to his friend for dear life. Sirius was warm and tight in a way Remus could have never imagined, making every throbbing second a hundred times more pleasurable than ever before. He could feel himself shaking, and he could have sworn he’d seen fireworks behind his eyelids when he’d squeezed them shut.

As soon as Remus had finished, Sirius collapsed on top of him. Both boys laid there for several minutes, panting and collecting themselves, heads spinning with lust and love. Finally, Remus got his wits about him once more and ran a hand through Sirius’ dark, sweaty locks.

“Bloody hell, Sirius. If I’d known you could do all that, I would have told James to shove it and gone to bed with you ages ago,” he breathed, his words honest but playful.  

Sirius grinned, kissing Remus deeply in place of a response. When they pulled apart, Sirius carefully peeled himself off of Remus and rolled to lay beside the other boy, both their chests and stomachs sticky from all the fun they’d just had.

“You know, you’re one to talk. For someone who’s never done that before, you sure know how to make a bloke want to come back for more,” Sirius said with a satisfied grin. “You’re so good, Rem. So, so, so good,” Sirius hummed, nuzzling the crook of Remus’ neck for a moment and then lifting his head to look at Remus’ overly satisfied smile once more. The boys looked at each other with dazed expressions and couldn’t help but giggle at nothing, cuddling up to each other without hesitation.

“A few weeks late..but that was a _hell_ of a birthday present, Pads,” Remus told Sirius with a chuckle as they cuddled up to each other even closer, still in disbelief at how incredible that had felt. Sirius had a leg thrown across Remus, and their arms were wrapped around each other as they nuzzled each other and spoke softly, both boys feeling safer than they ever had before.

“It doesn’t have to be an annual thing, ya know. I’m _more_ than willing to spend every night with you...if you insist,” Sirius offered with a cheesy grin.

“Oh what a sacrifice, such a hero,” Remus replied teasingly and reached out to tuck a loose lock of Sirius’ hair behind his ear. “You know…as much as I enjoyed all of this, I think a shower is in order, yeah?” he suggested.

Sirius’ face lit up and he pressed a happy kiss to Remus’ lips.

“You read my mind,” Sirius mumbled, clinging to Remus and keeping him in bed for at least five more minutes because he just couldn’t bring himself to stop kissing him.

Remus laughed and finally managed to drag Sirius to the bathroom. As they waited for the water to heat up, the boys smirked at each other. Remus could feel the cold tile floor beneath his feet and the warm steam from the shower enveloping them all at once, a chill running over his arms. He hugged himself for warmth and Sirius leaned against him, arms wrapped around his waist from the side.

“We can keep each other warm now,” Sirius said simply, smiling up at the taller boy with nothing but love in his eyes. Remus could have melted then and there.

“I, er, I think the water’s ready,” he said, his voice softer than he’d intended it to be. Sirius just smiled and led the way, both boys stepping into the tub and pulling the curtain shut. They took turns standing under the hot spray. The water pressure could have been better, but they got what they paid for in this part of town. Still, Remus didn’t mind, because he was taking a shower with Sirius! Sirius, who he’d dreamt about for years, his best mate and...maybe more now.

He could see the drops of water sliding over the other’s boy’s slightly tanned chest and Remus reached out before he could stop himself, running his fingers down the smooth skin in a way that was more tender than anything else. Sirius looked down at Remus’ hand and smiled as he turned to meet the other boy’s gaze.

He took a step closer and draped his arms over Remus’ shoulders, admiring the way the steamy water made his curls even more prominent. Remus, in turn, rested his hands lightly on either side of Sirius’ waist.

“So how do you feel?” Sirius asked, knowing this had been a momentous evening for the other boy.

Remus blinked a few droplets of water out of his eyes, looking down at Sirius with a tingling feeling in his chest.

“I feel...right, like I needed this, like we needed this...and like I never want to be with anyone else. I’ve always wanted a boyfriend like you,” Remus admitted quietly and stared down at Sirius in earnest. “I’m sorry, was that too much? Oh, it was. Look, if you just want to stay mates I—“ Remus rambled.

But Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned up on his toes to shut Remus up with a gentle kiss.

“Rem, relax. I’ve been in love with you since we were 12. I think the term ‘boyfriend’ is long overdue,” he assured Remus sweetly.

“I...love you, too,” Remus said, exchanging a mutually adoring look with his brilliant best f—boyfriend.

The boys continued to whisper sweet nothings to one another, taking turns washing up and blowing soapy suds in each other’s faces. They giggled as they wrapped themselves up in fluffy towels, and distracted each other with chaste kisses as they raced to see who could get dressed the fastest. Sirius won by a split second and received a kiss as his reward, pressing Remus up against the wall outside his bedroom and enjoying the slow give and take of the other boy’s lips against his own.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Sirius asked a moment later with a lopsided grin on his face, like jumping from kissing his freshly shagged and showered best friend of over a decade to watching a movie in the living room together was the easiest thing in the world. Remus grinned back, already certain that being with Sirius was the best decision he’d ever made.

“Only if it’s one of your favorites,” Remus replied playfully and Sirius took him by the hand to lead the way to the sofa. The boys curled up together on the couch, flipping through the channels in search of a late-night feature.

Remus had his whole body outstretched on the couch, with Sirius practically on top of him, his head resting on Remus’ chest. Sirius rubbed his face against the front of Remus’ shirt and set the remote on the coffee table after they’d settled on a black and white _Frankenstein_ film. Sirius suggested they leave the lights off to add to the ambiance of the film and Remus wholeheartedly agreed. It was the little moments like this that Remus knew he was going to enjoy most. For him, it wasn’t about whether he got a shag or landed the prettiest girl or boy at the party. It was all about this, the small moments that made everything worthwhile.  

He kissed the top of Sirius’ still damp head, an arm wrapped around the other boy protectively as they giggled and stole kisses from each other, Frankenstein’s monster coming to life in the background. From his room, Remus could still hear the faint sounds of Stevie Nicks serenading them on repeat.

For the next hour, Remus and Sirius enjoyed one another’s company. And, for the first time, they did so without restraints, not afraid of being rejected by the other or judged by someone else in the room. They kissed and cuddled and shared each other’s company in the most natural way possible, both boys feeling like they could finally breathe and be themselves.

Towards the end of the film, Sirius’ ears perked up at the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. He could hear his friends chatting loudly and laughing in the way they only did when they were drunk, keys jingling as one of them fumbled for the right one.

Sirius looked to Remus, his eyes asking a question. Remus smiled knowingly in return and shook his head at the last minute, deciding it’d be better to share the news of their new relationship status and his own lost virginity tomorrow, when his friends were sober. Sirius squeezed his hand gently and quickly hopped to the other end on the couch, just as the front door swung open, a slightly tipsy James stumbling in with a clearly drunk Peter in tow.

“Evening, fellas. Sat in front of the telly as always, eh?” James said by way of greeting and plopped himself in the armchair, legs draped over the side of one arm. “What’d you two wankers get up to tonight?”

“Ah, not much. Ate some curry, watched a film, some other stuff. You know, the usual,” Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, and Remus wanted to give him an award for his composure, after they’d been naked and writhing on top of each other a little over an hour ago. Remus could still see clearly in his mind the colorful lightning bolt on Sirius’ hip and the perfectly round moons in a line down his forearm, even though Sirius was wearing a long-sleeve at the moment.

He still thought the other boy was absolutely bonkers for having done something so impulsive before they’d admitted their feelings to one another. But it was too sweet of a gesture for Remus to even be mad about it. Besides, the tattoo was brilliantly done and he even toyed with the idea of having Sirius bring him over to Dorcas’ shop to get a similar one of his own. But that was for another day.

“Yep, a pretty great evening overall,” Remus chimed in. He hugged a leg to his chest and rested his face on his bent knee to hide the smirk that threatened to creep up, the truth of that evening’s events dancing on the tip of his tongue. But neither James nor Peter seemed to notice anything unusual.

“How ‘bout you lot? How were Lils and Mary?” Sirius asked.

“Mary and I snogged for practically an hour!” Peter announced excitedly from where he was sat on the floor. “I swear I would’ve gotten to second base if she didn’t have work in the morning. Plus, she wants to ‘take things slow.’ Prongs and I hit the pub after instead, since we were both downtown,” he explained. “But one of these nights, mates. One of these nights, it’s going to be me and Mary. I’m telling ya,” he added hopefully.

Remus did his best not to roll his eyes. He’d never understood why the other marauders were so obsessed with shagging. But, now that he’d experienced it for himself with someone he genuinely cared for, he supposed it was something to get pretty excited about. Like a kiss or a hug, it was a more intense way of communicating his passion for someone else, and Remus wouldn’t want that someone else to be anyone other than Sirius.

“Give it time, Pete. Maybe try to clean some of the stains off your shirts and be a little more romantic. It wouldn’t kill you to wear a little less cologne, too, by the way,” Sirius explained with a teasing grin. Peter only shrugged and leaned against the side of the couch with a dreamy look on his face as he thought about Mary. “And you, Jamie?”

“Oh, what can I say? What can I say? Lily is…perfect,” James sighed, tossing his head back dramatically, as if melting at the thought of the red-headed girl. “We went to the drive-in and bloody hell, Pads...the way she kissed me when I gave her those flowers, I swear it was like my soul left my body,” James said with a shake of his head, lost in the memory of the wonderful moment. “Thanks for the tip about the lilies, mate,” he added, giving Sirius an air high five from the other side of the small room.

Both Remus and Sirius grinned at the love written plain on both their friends’ faces when they talked about their girlfriends. They knew what that felt like now, and they knew it with each other. And there was nothing better than knowing that they weren’t alone anymore.

“Betcha wish ya had a nice gal of your own to spend the night with now, eh, Moony?” James added teasingly as he turned his attention to the movie playing on the tiny television screen, still smiling about Lily Evans.

Remus was glad when James turned away, because he couldn’t hold back the slightest shake of his head as he surreptitiously slid his arm across the middle of the couch and took Sirius’ hand in his own.

 _No, Prongs. I really don’t_ , Remus thought, a knowing smirk on his face as he settled in beside his boyfriend to enjoy the rest of the film.

Something told him this was only the first of many magical nights to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to write one more chapter after this. But I would love to write more wolfstar in general, whether it be one shots, a new fic, spin-offs, etc. So if you have any suggestions, please let me know! And thanks again for reading!!! All of your kudos and comments mean the world to me <3


	6. July 14, 1983 — Epilogue: Whiskey and Worries and Weddings Galore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weddings and love and fluff! Updates on everyone's lives, James and Lily tie the knot, and Remus and Sirius tiptoe around their own feelings before finally deciding what they want to do with the rest of their lives <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are slightly over a year later and this WIP is finally finished! This has to be the longest fic I’ve ever written and probably the only one I’ve ever completed. But the entire writing process has been so much more fun because of you amazing people who have read my fic <3 Thank you for your patience and please enjoy!

**July 14, 1983, 11:48am**

Remus grunted as he was pushed on top of the dresser and back against the wall, his fingers tangled in his boyfriend’s long, dark hair. A stack of books tumbled to the floor as Sirius snogged him silly, lips and teeth colliding while the other boy tried desperately to unbutton the front of Remus’ shirt. A small whimper escaped the back of Remus’ throat as Sirius nipped at his jaw and sucked down to the hollow of his throat, making him squirm up against the wall.

“What d’you think, Pads?” James began as he came down the hall. “The black tie or the re—oh, honestly, mates! You can’t keep it in your pants for five fucking minutes? It’s my bloody wedding day, _in case you forgot_ ,” he reminded both boys as they righted their clothes. Remus was flushed with embarrassment as he fixed the top button on his shirt and ran a hand through his curly auburn hair, while Sirius stood next to him with a shameless smirk on his face, lips puffy and red.

“Have you seen this boy, Prongs? This gorgeous, beautiful boy, right here?” Sirius asked insistently, reaching up to caress Remus’ cheek lovingly to accentuate his point. “How on earth could I ever be expected to keep my hands off of him?” Sirius said with a hum and leaned in to nuzzle his boyfriend’s neck sweetly.

“I’d rather think about Lily today, thanks very much,” James said and rolled his eyes at their cuddliness. “Now help me pick a bloody tie. We have to be at the church in an hour and I will _not_ have my fiancé kill me for being late before I get a chance to call her my wife.”

Remus hopped down from the dresser and reached out to comb his fingers through Sirius’ hair to fix it, having mussed it up pretty well while they were snogging.

“I really doubt she’s going to try to _kill_ you, Prongs...you’ve both spent way too much money on the flowers alone to cancel,” Remus explained teasingly and James shook the ties with a frustrated groan. “The red one. It’s always been your color, mate,” Remus assured him.

“Ta, mate,” James grinned and went off to his room again to fix himself up in front of the mirror.

James would never admit it, but he was terrified; Remus and Sirius could both see it plain on his face, and in the way his hands trembled when he held out the ties a moment ago. James had been chatting the ears off of anyone who would listen the last few months about his “Lovely Lily” and how excited he was to make her his “one and only.” But they all knew he was scared out of his mind to make such a big commitment.

That wasn’t to say James wasn’t ready to settle down with Lily. It was the only thing he talked about, and none of the marauders had ever been surer that this was what James wanted most in the world. But, given his proclivity for trouble, there was always the possibility that he could colossally ruin his own wedding day in one way or another, and James was terrified of letting anything go wrong in front of Lily. He’d once spilled an entire plate of hot gravy and mash on his lap during a date by the pier and gone completely scarlet—not that the marauders actually knew anything about that.

Remus thought it was sweet that James wanted everything to go so perfectly, and they’d all assured him at the bachelor party—in which they’d all crowded into a little hole-in-the-wall pub downtown and gorged themselves on beer and chips—and every day afterwards that everything would be fine. In fact, the marauders had made it their latest mission to make sure everything went smashingly at the Potter-Evans wedding…and that nothing literally got smashed, as it often did when they went out together.

Remus found it a bit ironic that James was about to be the first marauder to officially settle down because of the way he had always flaunted his playboy attitude in the past and encouraged the other marauders to follow. Still, he couldn’t think of a more perfect pair to tie the knot than James and Lily. Well, except for maybe one couple…

Remus bit his lip as James left, and he fumbled with the makeshift ring he’d been keeping in his pocket for the last three months. He supposed it wasn’t really fair to call an old Curly Wurly wrapper he’d laboriously twisted into the shape of a half-decent circle a “ring," especially since it wasn’t the first one he’d made. No, Remus had formed dozens of candy wrapper rings over the last year, all while mulling over how best to pop the question to his magnificent boyfriend. Sirius was the most amazing person Remus had ever met, and he intended to spend the rest of his life with the other boy. It was telling his wonderful boyfriend all of this that made him want to yank his hair out with nerves. He couldn’t care less that their love was to be confined behind closed doors, or that ridiculous people with an even more ridiculous amount of power in the country they lived in passed bills like the Matrimonial Causes Act, to explicitly outlaw their legal bond. Not that Remus had spent hours reading up about it at the library or anything.

No, Remus thought people like that could fuck right off because he loved his Sirius and they didn’t need anyone to approve of their love except each other. Which was exactly why Remus wanted to ask Sirius to marry him. They could have a little ceremony in the hills somewhere, overlooking the ocean, with all of their friends in attendance. It didn’t matter that it wouldn’t be considered “official,” because Sirius and Remus had fantasized together about marriage a few times before, and all either of them really wanted was to know that they’d be with each other forever.

So Remus toyed with the candy wrapper ring, a fear rivaling James’ own bubbling up in his stomach. He didn’t plan to ask Sirius today. It was his best mate’s wedding day, after all. But he wanted to be ready at all times, just in case the opportunity presented itself. Though, he supposed it had more than once already—like after the Queen show they’d gone to in Northampton last year, or that time in the park when the butterflies were fluttering all around, or their trip to the Scottish highlands a few months back. He’d just been too afraid to take that final leap. Not because he didn’t wholeheartedly want to be with Sirius forever, but because he was almost sure the other boy would say no. Remus didn’t really have a good reason to back the theory up, but he was just sure Sirius would end up fumbling with his words and do his best to let him down gently if he so much as hinted at popping the question.

“I still think we’ve got plenty of time for a good snog before we have to go,” Sirius insisted with a smirk as soon as James was gone, snapping Remus out of his thoughts as he draped his arms around the other boy’s neck and pulled him backwards toward their shared bed. They were essentially in Remus’ room, but a significant portion of Sirius things had made their way into Remus’ room over the years. And, since they rarely ever slept apart—Sirius was prone to pulling the occasional prank that went too far and was forced to sleep on the couch—they considered the room theirs. “Moooony, kiss me,” Sirius whined, the way he always did when he didn’t get what he wanted after exactly five seconds. Remus laughed and leaned forward to rest their foreheads together, stopping Sirius from going any further just as they’d neared the edge of the bed.

“Lils will actually kill _both_ of us if we show up wrinkled to her wedding, and you know it,” Remus warned, though his own arms were wrapped securely around Sirius’ waist as he smiled down at the shorter boy with a twinkle in his eye.

“Oh, I don’t think she’ll have time for that, not with James to worry about. Not to mention Mar’s hair,” he reminded Remus, who grinned and nodded in agreement.

As one of Lily’s bridesmaids, Marlene had taken it upon herself to dye her hair bright purple, both to match the color scheme and as part of her continued exploration into the punk movement. In fact, she’d almost convinced Sirius to dye his to match, considering that the two were thick as thieves ever since he’d helped her open up a tattoo parlour of her own last year. The set up had been simple, but the haggling over the location, price and furnishings was what they’d really made a great team for. And Remus had to hand it to them, the shop did look pretty fantastic. In fact, Remus had gotten a little tattoo of his own to celebrate his and Sirius’ one year anniversary back in ‘81. Sirius had been overjoyed when Remus had stood up from the tattoo chair to show him the delicate lines and dots outlining Canis Major over the right side of his chest. The Sirius star was done bigger than the others, since it was the brightest and clearly the most important. At least, that’s what he told Sirius that day to earn him the kiss of a lifetime, which had made Dorcas fake gag at how sickeningly in love they were.

While Sirius and Marlene’s friendship had blossomed into something altogether mischievous and admirable, Lily and Remus had similarly bonded and formed a friendship that made them feel like they were nothing short of siblings. The two had initially gotten along while making fun of their boyfriends together—much to James and Sirius’ chagrin—but their time together had quickly turned into long conversations about books and their favorite kinds of tea and how they’d both been fans of all the same authors growing up. In fact, Remus and Lily had become such good friends that she’d almost fought for him to be on her side of the wedding party. But James had already asked him to be one of the best men, so he couldn’t really switch sides. Still, the marauders had made great friends with Lily and all of her little group, making nights like tonight—when they all got together—twice as fun.

Remus gave Sirius a gentle pat on the bum and suggested they get going. Sirius gladly hopped to it, taking the opportunity when Remus bent over to grab his coat to pinch his bum and scurry away with a snicker. Remus rolled his eyes and followed his ridiculous boyfriend to the front door.

Even though the car ride over was nearly two hours, Remus thought it was worth it for the venue. Along with Marlene and Dorcas and Mary, he’d helped Lily plan a simple but beautiful wedding on the White Cliffs of Dover. Lily’s family had chipped in to cover the cost of music and catering and her dress—which was an updated version of her great grandmother’s own wedding gown. James had yet to see it, but Remus had managed to sneak a few peaks and he knew his best mate was going to smile brighter than Sirius at a Queen concert when he saw his bride-to-be all dressed up.

Yep, Remus was sure James was about to have the best day of his life, even as the groom-to-be nearly tripped walking over the threshold of the front door.

“Aha, just a little excited, I guess,” he laughed at himself in embarrassment, and Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes at him before they all headed out. Peter had arrived at the venue earlier, along with Mary, Dorcas, Marlene, and a few of the guests who had volunteered to help set up the tables and chairs and such. He and Mary had dated for a few months after they first met and took a break for about a year in between to figure themselves out. Now they’d made amends and were doing so well that they were planning to move in together in just a few short weeks. The other marauders were pleased for him and had already bought him a housewarming gift—a potted cactus they’d named Dolores and told their slightly oafish friend it was the perfect gift for him because it basically couldn’t die.

Remus and Sirius had stayed behind mostly because they knew James would need Sirius to keep him from freaking out and Sirius would need Remus to keep _him_ from freaking out. But things had worked out well so far. That is, until they arrived at the base of the cliffs to find Lily pacing back and forth nervously in jeans and a balloon sleeve floral blouse. Even in her most casual outfits, Lily looked like a goddess to James. The sky had graced them with some sunlight that day, which reflected beautifully across her glossy red hair. But she had a look of worry on her face, her arms crossed over her chest as she kept standing on her tiptoes to see if any other cars were coming up the hill.

“Lils, what are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Remus asked with furrowed brows as the three of them scrambled out of the car to see what was going on.

“I—oh, James, don’t look at me!” she insisted sorrowfully, though she still seemed preoccupied by something greater.

“Love, you aren’t even dressed,” James insisted softly as he went to put his arms around her shoulders comfortingly. “What is it? What’s wrong? Why are you out here...stomping around in the dirt? You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” James asked, suddenly worried.

“I know I’m not dressed but it’s just—what do you mean changed my mind? Don’t be ridiculous,” she huffed. Lily took a second to pull herself together and relax, as she realized all three boys were watching her with concern. She leaned into James’ embrace and looked up at him with uncertainty in her eyes. “It’s Petunia. I...I asked her to be one of my bride’s maids. I sent the letter months ago and told her she needed to show up early but...she isn’t here,” Lily explained, her voice getting softer with every word she spoke as she finally let herself accept that her sister wasn’t coming.

James had known almost since the start of their relationship that Lily and her sister didn’t get along well, and he knew that wasn’t Lily’s fault because she was pretty much the most agreeable person anyone had ever met. No, Petunia had always been the more straight-laced one in their family. Some might say she was even laced too tight if you asked Lily. It was actually pretty astonishing how different they’d turned out, even though they’d grown up together. But Petunia had always considered herself destined for more, destined to be better than her family, her friends, and especially better than her annoyingly perfect red-headed sister.

James had never actually met Petunia, as she always refused her sister’s invitations to come visit them in London. But he’d heard their conversations on the rare occasions when Petunia would return Lily’s calls, just to tell her that she was ruining her life by shacking up with some good-for-nothing, unsophisticated twit, and in London of all places—which was the worst place in the world in her eyes, simply because it was a city, and “nothing good ever comes out of living in a city with filth and grime and protesters and pillocks more interested in getting battered than finding a decent job.” Lily had hung up the phone when her sister called her a slag for having been with James without being married for so long. James had seen how hurt she was after that phone call and, in a way, he was glad Petunia hadn’t come. Though, he knew how much her older sister had meant to her growing up, even if she had always been a right twat to Lily.

“Oh, Lily, I’m sorry...Maybe she was just busy, or something came up and—” James fumbled, trying to come up with something comforting to tell his heartbroken fiancée. But Lily shook her head, knowing he was only trying to make her feel better.

“I just...she always said...and I thought that maybe with the wedding...but she never wrote back and…” she trailed off, shaking her head again before resting it against James’ chest with a sigh.

Remus looked to Sirius with a frown and silently gestured to his boyfriend that they should go see if they could be of help elsewhere. Sirius took Remus by the hand and they went to help set up for the reception nearby.

“Love, shhh,” James whispered calmingly and stroked Lily’s loose hair as he gave her a minute to calm down. “Today is our special day, alright? _Your_ special day, and we’re not going to let anything or _anyone_ ruin that, are we?” But Lily only sighed and nuzzled her face deeper against James’ chest. “Hey, aren’t you excited? You swore it was going to rain today and it has to be the clearest day in England if I’ve ever seen one,” he told her with a smile, but Lily didn’t budge. “Plus, we have the flat to look forward to, right? We’ve been saving for ages, and we’ll finally be able to move in a couple weeks from now. And you’ve got your best mate Alice as your maid of honor. A-and, look, I got my tie on just right like you asked—no stains or anything. I even ran a comb through my hair with some of that new gel we came up with. Sleakeazy’s newest general manager has to look sharp, after all, eh?” he told Lily with a grin.

She looked up to find her fiancé smiling proudly down at her with his hair still sticking up stiffly in every direction, like some sort of porcupine had crawled up there and taken residence. She didn’t doubt that he had run a comb through it. It was just permanently a spectacle, which only made her smile and start to laugh somewhat uncontrollably at how perfectly ridiculous James was without even trying to be. 

James only smiled wider as Lily started to laugh, proud of himself for making her feel better. Then he realized she was kind of laughing at him, for some reason. Still, he smiled and kissed her face all over before insisting she go get ready, more excited now than ever before. With the wedding so close she could taste it, and James’ promotion, and her new job teaching year 6 while she studied to become a professor someday, Lily’s life had really never been better. And she was glad she had James there to remind her of that every now and then.

As Lily ran off to get changed, feeling better about Petunia now that James had calmed her down, Remus and Sirius busied themselves setting vases of flowers on tables as centerpieces. They laid out forks and plates and helped set up the music and made sure pretty much everything was flawless for their friends’ big day, with Marlene directing them on what went where, of course.

“Is that all?” Sirius asked Remus, just as Marlene popped up behind them, draping an arm around either of their shoulders.

“Everything looks aces. Good job, mates,” Marlene said cheerfully, causing Sirius to jump and Remus to laugh. “Relax, it’s Lily and James’ big day, not yours. You don’t have anything to worry about,” she teased, and Remus’ hand twitched towards his pocket as he remembered the candy wrapper ring.

“Doesn’t give you the right to bark orders at us, Marls,” Sirius huffed jokingly and Marlene gave him a playful shove.

“I don’t need an excuse to push you around a little, Black. But I’m sure you don’t complain when Moony’s in charge of you, do you?” she asked teasingly and winked. Remus blushed right alongside Sirius, who bumped Marlene’s hip with his own and told her to piss off, both of them laughing a little.

“Hey, where’s Dorcas? Why hasn’t she come to help set up?” Remus asked curiously.

“Ah, she’s helping Lils with her hair—girly things and all that, you know,” she shrugged. “Oh! But we have some splendid news,” Marlene added, and Remus was sure he’d never seen her so excited.

“You’re pregnant?!” Sirius exclaimed dramatically and Remus rolled his eyes.

“No, but close,” Marlene smiled back widely. “Dory and I have officially adopted our very own kitten! Oh, he’s gorgeous. His name is Felix and he’s only a few months old but he already knows so many tricks, and we even got him one of those little spiked collars. Dory and I haven’t been able to let him out of our sight all week, so hopefully he isn’t tearing up the curtains at our flat,” she laughed a little. “But you two should come by and see him sometime. I’m sure James and Lils will be a little too busy on their honeymoon to swing by anytime soon, but he’s really just the most brilliant little thing,” she gushed.

“Excited over a kitten? Oh Marls, you haven’t gone soft on me. Say it isn’t so. Now we’ll have to change the name of the shop from Fire and Fury to Fire and Fur,” Sirius said, clutching his hands to his chest as he continued on with his theatrics.

“Oh don’t give me any of that, Black. I’ve seen how doey eyed and goo goo you are over Remus, here. You’ve been softer way longer than I have,” she retorted and Sirius gasped in mock offense.

“Er, sorry to interrupt the bickering, but could I borrow my best man for a moment, chaps?” James interrupted, putting on an air of sophistication for his big day that made Marlene and Remus smirk.

“Oh, do bring him back to me at once, won’t you?” Remus called teasingly as James pulled Sirius away by his arm.

“What’s going on, mate? How’s Lily?” Sirius asked James, who’d pulled him to stand under the reception tent, just on the other side of the small stage where the band his parents had hired would be performing. Sirius could see that James was sort of shaking now, his fingers tapping against his thigh as they had been on the ride over, which almost made Sirius think he was nervous. But James Potter was never nervous, not even when he jumped off the roof of that French restaurant and into the dumpster on a dare, or when he nearly burnt down their kitchen trying to heat up a can of premade soup. No, James was never the nervous or worried type. Except for today.

“Hm? Oh, she’s alright, just worried about her sister is all. But she’s better now,” James explained quickly. “So how are the flowers? They haven’t wilted or anything, right?” James asked, slight panic clear in his eyes now.

“Huh?” Sirius mumbled in confusion.

“The flowers. And the table cloths, too. And none of the chairs are faulty? Especially not where Lily’s parents are sitting, right? And the food isn’t bad or anything? Have you tried it. Oh god, what if someone gets food poisoning? Did the photographer show up? He said he’d be here by 11. The band won’t be here until one o’clock, but would it kill them to be a little early? And fix your shirt, mate. What if Lily sees?” he asked, rambling on in a panic before he reached out to adjust Sirius’ shirt collar.

“Whoa, whoa, mate, relax. Everything’s taken care of. Where’s all this coming from?” Sirius asked. He brought his hands up to push James’ hands away gently and pat him on the shoulder. “Why are you freaking out?”

“I...oh, sorry, Pads. I just...what if something goes wrong, you know? I’ve been waiting for this day for years and I never thought Lily would say yes, but it’s finally here and what if I screw it up somehow? You know our dating life hasn’t exactly been the best—and don’t try to convince me that it has. You remember that week we nearly broke up because I pulled that lizard in the glass trick on her, or the time I killed all her house plants when she went to visit her parents, or that one time on her birthday when I got the spaghetti sauce all in her hair,” he pointed out, recalling all of the times he’d even minorly screwed up with Lily. It was a long list, to be honest, and James thought it was a miracle Lily had stayed with him even this long. “I just...I don’t want anything to go wrong today.”

Sirius furrowed his brows and sighed as he looked up at James. They were basically brothers. Not by blood, but ever since James and his family had informally adopted him when he’d run away from his parents at a young age. And, as appreciative as Sirius was for that, he’d always been annoyed that James was the taller of them. But, now, he looked up at his brother and saw real worry in his eyes, knowing he had to do something to help, something to make this day truly as perfect as James had been hoping it would turn out.

“Prongs, I can assure you everything is as it’s supposed to be. The food’s great—I caught Pete nibbling on some pigs in a blanket a minute ago—Moony called the band and the photographer, the weather’s great, and the flowers are fresher than my arse straight out of the bath,” Sirius said, giving James a smirk as the other boy rolled his eyes.

“Very comforting, Pads,” he mumbled and shook himself off a bit, feeling goosebumps from his nerves prick up under his shirt and all over his body. But Sirius shook his head and reached up to throw an arm across James’ shoulders and pull him in for a side hug as they both looked out at the sun shining on the cliffs in the distance.

“You didn’t let me finish. Aaand, aside from everything else being perfect, I also happen to know that one miss Lily Evans—soon to be Mrs. Potter—is utterly and completely madly in love with you. And I’m talking more than Moony loves chocolate, more than Pete loves cake, and more than I love David Bowie’s bloody gorgeous cheekbones. She’s head over heels for you. Honestly, mate, she is. Sure, you’ve given her reason to question it a few times, but she’s stuck with you through thick and thin, hasn’t she? You’ve been there for each other through everything and we all know you’re meant for each other. We could see it from the first time you laid eyes on her at that party, alright?” Sirius insisted and shook his brother’s shoulder a little to loosen him up. “So stop your worrying. Lily’s going to walk up to that gazebo looking fucking fabulous today and you’re not going to fumble your vows—because you’ve been practicing them for weeks—and Rem and I are going to make sure everything else is bloody spot on and you, James Potter, are getting married today, okay?”

James had been listening to Sirius with worry on the tip of his tongue, but as dramatic as Sirius could be sometimes, he knew exactly what to say in serious situations. He nodded his head vigorously after a minute, Sirius’ long-winded speech really serving its purpose and pumping him up.

“Yeah, yeah, Pads, you’re right. I guess I just...I’ve wanted to marry Lily for so long and it’s finally here. It’s just a brilliant feeling, you know?” he asked his best mate with a grin and Sirius nodded, smiling back brightly as he thought of Remus. “Thanks, Pads. You know, I’ll kill you if you tell anyone I got all sappy...but I’m really glad you’re my best man. There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side today,” James admitted. Sirius bit his lip and gave James another little shake around the shoulders, this time out of appreciation.

“I know, I know, Prongs. What would you do without me?” Sirius said with a grin, and together the two went to help finish setting up, the work keeping James’ mind free of any other worries.

**July 14, 1983,4:32pm**

Meanwhile, Lily had just slipped into her wedding dress, a flowy floor-length gown with sheer, lace bell sleeves that showed off her freckled skin. The dress’s creamy hue was a nice compliment to her red hair, which was done up into a loose bun and pinned together with pink lilies.

“Oh, Lily, you’re gorgeous. James isn’t going to know what hit him,” Alice sighed as she finished helping Lily with her earrings.

“You think so? It’s not too much?” Lily asked, her nerves showing only slightly behind her rosy cheeks and the excitement radiating off of her as the ceremony ticked closer and closer.

“Not too much at all. And yes, he will. I’m sure of it,” Dorcas jumped in and assured her with a sweet smile as she reached out to adjust one of the flowers in Lily’s hair.

“It’s almost time. Are you ready?” Marlene asked from across the room, where she’d been fixing Lily’s bouquet. “This wedding had only been three years in the making,” she added with a teasing laugh.

“Y—Yes, I really am, actually...You know, the first time I met James, I thought he was a bit of an arse,” she said with a laugh. “He kept complimenting my hair and trying to flirt with me by calling me a ‘fiery ginger.’ But then he spilled his drink on me and that whole charade of knowing what he was doing completely melted away...and he was just so sweet. Of course, he did still try his best to find excuses to snog me as often as possible at Remus’ party later that evening, but he was still so charming—even more so when he wasn’t trying to act like it,” Lily sighed.

“Oh, I remember the snogging,” Dorcas replied with a laugh and a roll of her eyes that made Marlene grin.

“On our very first date, James took me to a bowling alley,” Lily continued. “He picked me up in his car at 7:05 sharp and draped his jacket around me as we walked from the parking area into the building. At first, he was confident, as always, trying to show me how it was done. Oh, you should have seen the look on his face when he realized how good I was—and he just about pissed himself when I beat him,” Lily added, sparking laughs all around the room. “But he didn’t give up. He kept trying and trying over and over again, doing his best, even though there was no way in hell I was going to let him win. And, at the end of the game, instead of throwing some sort of tantrum as I expected, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and looked down at me with this sort of odd smile on his face. ‘You really know how to get the ball rolling, Evans,’ he said. And it was so banal, but I loved it for some reason,” and Lily couldn’t stop smiling now. “...And, I know it sounds silly, but that’s when I knew I needed to spend the rest of my life getting to know him—this...strange and brilliant man. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” she sighed happily and smiled around at all of her friends, who smiled back, glad to know that Lily felt so deeply in love.

“Well, I think we all know James’ head would fall off without you, so it looks like you two made the right decision. ‘Course, if things don’t work out, marrying me and Dorcas is always an option,” Marlene joked and Lily tossed a stray bobby pin at her with a laugh, which resulted in an all-out bobby pin war between the bridesmaids as Lily took shelter behind part of her veil to save her hair, giggling the entire time. She also didn’t know what she’d do without her wonderful friends. With the wedding today and Marlene and Dorcas moving in together soon and Alice and Frank getting married next year, Lily had a feeling today was only the start of very good times to come.

**July 14, 1983, 5:03pm**

As the wedding march began to play, James fidgeted with his tie for the eleventh time in the last five minutes and Remus had to remind him to calm down. Everyone was gathered outside in seats that hugged either side of the aisle leading up to the gazebo and decorated heavily with pink and peach colored stargazer lilies—where James stood with the rest of the wedding party.

The minute Lily stepped out and started to walk down the aisle, James stopped trembling and froze, his hands clasped together tightly as he bit back tears at how beautiful Lily was with the evening sun illuminating her every move. “Oi, ease up, mate. She’ll think you’ve gone stiffer than an ice lolly,” Sirius whispered teasingly as he nudged his best friend playfully, just managing to hold back his own tears at how happy he was that this was actually happening.

James and Lily couldn’t stop smiling at each other the entire time the priest spoke, grinning at each other excitedly as they exchanged their vows. James even surprised Lily by reading one of her favorite romantic poems, “Love’s Language” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, bringing her to happy tears and warming the hearts of every single person in attendance.

Lily followed up with one of James’ favorite jokes and he nearly started crying from how much he loved the woman in front of him for never failing to surprise him and make him laugh.

Remus and Sirius watched all of this from right behind James, smiling and laughing and aweing the entire time. They squeezed each other’s hands as the couple shared their first kiss as a married couple and Remus exchanged a look with Sirius that said they wanted that with each other someday soon.

After the obligatory cheering and rice-throwing, Lily tossed her bouquet over her shoulder and the real party began.

Dinner was an expectedly extravagant occasion—with Cornish pasties and roast potatoes and pudding galore. From the music and laughter and heartfelt speeches—including Sirius,’ where he recounted the time he and James had gotten stuck outside the Potter home in nothing but their pants after a night of mischief-making and narrowly avoiding the police—every single moment served as a reminder that everyone present cared about each other and they were all exactly where they were meant to be. And nothing had ever felt so good.

“Before we all head off to the dance floor, I’d just like to say one more thing,” Sirius said after he’d managed to get everyone’s attention again. James shot him a look, daring him to tell another embarrassing story, and Sirius laughed. “I know Jamie isn’t the smartest or coolest or most modest person sometimes, Lily. But he’s the damn bravest and most loyal bloke I’ve ever known. Even though he can be a real pain in the arse at times and he couldn’t change a flat tire to save his life, the great thing about Prongs is that he’ll always be there for you when you need him. He’s helped me through some tough times and god knows he loves you more than anything in the world—he won’t shut up about it,” Sirius said, and everyone laughed knowingly. “So I know he’ll be there to give you everything you ever need and more, and you’re really lucky to have each other...To James and Lily!” Sirius said, holding up his glass and ending the toast before he got emotional. The entire wedding party clapped and drank and James raised his glass to Sirius from the other end of the table in thanks. When Sirius sat back down, Remus praised him for being so openly sweet and squeezed his hand under the table, feeling like Sirius’ speech had been the perfect end to an already perfect day.

Several drinks later, James and Lily stepped into the dance floor as their song began to play, Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.”

“May I have this dance, Mrs. Potter?” James asked with a coy smile as he extended his hand out towards his wife. 

“Why, Mr. Potter, I thought you’d never ask,” Lily replied with a smile so brilliant that James was already weak at the knees as she placed her hand in his own.

Remus watched, celebratory champagne in hand, as his friends began to spin around the dance floor. Lily’s beautiful off-white gown swayed around her heels like a cloud lifting her off the ground, her magic reflected in James’ eyes as he admired his best friend in the world. Remus could see that they were lost in each other already, and Remus couldn’t help but smile at how happy he was to see his two close friends so happy with one another.

Even after Lily had shoved James’ face into their wedding cake, they were still adorable. Besides, it wasn’t like they were the only couple who’d gotten mischievous that evening. Marlene had teamed up with Sirius to photobomb some of James and Lily’s pictures, which annoyed the photographer but made the happy couple giggle to no end—with James only threatening to kick their arses once or twice.

Sirius, meanwhile, was busy giving Peter grief a few tables away because he’d caught the bouquet. Mary seemed quite pleased, and Peter himself only blushed more and more as Sirius went on listing proposal ideas, already having had three drinks and unable to stop his rambling. On the other side of the dance floor, Remus could also see Marlene and Dorcas swaying together happily and giggling whenever Marlene managed to trip over her own feet. Everything was as it should be, Remus decided, and took another sip of his champagne as the party continued on in full swing.

**July 14, 1983, 8:35pm**

Remus sipped at his rum and coke as he looked out at the wedding party. James and Lily were still spinning happily in the center of the outdoor dance floor, surrounded by friends and family busting drunken moves all around them.

From the table where he was sitting, he could see Sirius dancing drunkenly with Marlene and Dorcas, and even asking to cut in with Lily once. Sirius had asked him to dance at least three times already, as well, but Remus refused because he knew he’d trip over his own gangly legs and make a fool of himself. Though, now that he thought on it, Sirius was doing quite a good job of that himself. He was adorable, Remus thought. Sirius was so fun-loving and charismatic and he was the life of the party. He was also the light of Remus’ life. And, he swore to himself he wasn’t going to do this today. He swore it on the slightly crumpled candy wrapper ring he had in his pocket that he’d been fumbling with all evening. And he wasn’t sure if it was the six glasses of champagne he’d just had or if it was the way the moonlight shone down on Sirius like a magnificent spotlight no matter where he went, but Remus had finally found it in himself to make Sirius his once and for all.

Remus set his empty glass of champagne on the table and took a deep breath, smoothing his hands down over his suspenders as he approached his drunken boyfriend, who was currently whispering something in Marlene’s ear that made her nearly shoot her drink out her nose. Sirius grinned widely at her and stood up straighter when he saw Remus approaching, fixing his hair a bit, as if it was the first time Remus had ever seen him sloshed. Remus smirked and patted his pants pocket discreetly to reassure himself that everything was going to be alright.

“Evening, ladies. Mind if I cut in?” Remus asked playfully. Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at Sirius and gave him a knowing look before taking Dorcas to go pick at the hors d'oeuvres.

“Cut in? I thought ya didn’t like t’ dance,” Sirius asked teasingly, his words slurred as he put his hands on his hips to size Remus up with a smirk. “But I can’t say no to you,” he added and threw his arms around Remus, nuzzling his face to his chest lovingly.

“How many drinks have you had tonight, love?” Remus asked with a chuckle and combed a hand through Sirius’ hair.

“Oh, you know, just a sip here and there…” Sirius said with a happy hum that made Remus roll his eyes at how endearing he got when he was like this. Sirius often got like this when he was drunk, his hands tugging at Remus’ shirt and his fingers slowly dipping bast his belt buckle because he just couldn’t control himself. Remus pushed Sirius’ hands away with a laugh.

“Mmhm, just a sip. C’mon you. Can you even stand, or should we sit down?” Remus asked and raised an eyebrow.

“No, no, no. I want to dance with you,” Sirius insisted, making an effort to stand up straighter and clear his throat as he draped his arms around Remus’ shoulders. “You’re so handsome. How’d I get so lucky to be with someone soooo handsome?” he said with an adoring sigh.

Remus blushed softly at the way Sirius looked up at him with so much adoration in his eyes, and he rested his hands on either side of his boyfriend’s waist. Sirius was always flirty and sweet when he was drunk, but it really wasn’t much different than when Sirius was sober if he was honest. Remus bit his lip, thinking about the fake ring in his pocket and how well Lily and James’ special day had gone. He was so incredibly happy for his friends, and he just couldn’t help but think that he wanted that for himself and Sirius so badly. And it didn’t help that his boyfriend was even more amazing at dancing when he was drunk than when he wasn’t. Sirius just had every charming quality in the book, and Remus spun him slowly in a circle as they moved around the dance floor, the lights overhead illuminating every step they took in unison. Sirius was still looking up at him with those loving grey eyes and it was like the other boy knew what had been on Remus’ mind all day like he was asking for it. And Remus wanted so badly to ask him to be with him forever…

“Sirius, there’s something I want to—”

“Shhh, dancing,” Sirius said with a lazy grin and pressed a finger to Remus’ lips before attempting to dip him. Remus nearly fell backward but managed to stand them both upright before any photo-worthy moments happened—though he was sure Marlene might have snapped one. Sirius went on to hoot and throw his arms up excitedly when one of his favorite Rolling Stones songs came on. “Dance with me, Remy!” he called over the music, wiggling his hips from side to side with one hand pressed to his stomach in a way that was both hilarious and impossibly sexy. “ _Everybody wants somebody to love, someone to love, someone to kiss,_ sometime _to miss, now_ ,” Sirius sang along loudly, wiggling closer to Remus with every word. “ _Someone to squeeze, someone to please. And I need you, you, you. I need you, you, you_ ,” he continued, grinning widely at his boyfriend and nuzzling their noses together playfully as he egged Remus on until he was dancing, as well. Sirius always knew how to get Remus out of his comfort zone in the absolute best way.

Remus laughed as the song ended, having actually had a really good time dancing. But, as his mind went back to what he was going to say before Sirius interrupted him with his seductive dance moves, Remus began to think maybe tonight just wasn’t the right time to bring up the future. Sirius was sloshed, anyway, so maybe he wouldn’t even remember it if he did ask, Remus thought. But then Sirius was nuzzling his neck and looking up at him again sweetly and Remus felt his heart beating faster like it was about to leap out of his chest and ask Sirius to marry him itself if he didn’t hurry up and do it already. Remus cleared his throat and nudged Sirius’ cheek to get his full attention.

“Back to what I was saying...There’s something I want to talk to you about,” Remus insisted.

“Yeah? There’s something I want to talk to you about, too. Do you think ducks have teeth? Like, think about it. Wouldn’t it be completely mad if they did?” he thought aloud with a curious hum and Remus sighed in slight exasperation.

“No? I mean...Sirius, no. Listen, there’s something I really want to talk to you about. I mean it,” Remus said again.

“They’d quack and you’d just see a full set of ‘em right there, smiling at ya like a toothpaste advert. Or maybe they’d be more like fangs...all pointy,” Sirius went on obliviously and blinked several times when he felt his boyfriend stop dancing, Remus’ hands still firm on his hips. “Remus?” Sirius breathed in confusion.

“Love, I’m trying to tell you something important,” Remus said, shaking his head as he took his hand off Sirius’ waist and reached into his pocket to fumble for the candy wrapper ring. “Sirius, you know I love you sooo much...and these last few years have been, well, they’ve been bloody amazing,” Remus breathed, his words coming out with almost heartbreaking honestly that made Sirius realize he wasn’t kidding around.

Sirius looked up at Remus with a loving gleam in his eyes, completely taken by how gorgeous Remus was at the end of the day with his suspenders and his loose tie and his messy hair and his freckles and honey green eyes.

“I loooove you,” Sirius cooed and brought a hand up to pat Remus’ cheek. “Remember that night we went out on your birthday and James wanted you to get laid, but we played spin the bottle instead and you and I kissed? I’m so glad that happened. I love you so much,” Sirius sighed happily. Remus was also glad it had happened because it was that night that had led to them confessing their feelings for each other. And, if it weren’t for that awkward, confusing and wonderful night, Remus might have never gotten the chance to ask Sirius what he wanted to ask him right now.

“Yes, darling, I love you, too. But you need to listen to me,” Remus said and took one of Sirius’ hands in his own as he took his hand out of his pocket and held the makeshift ring out between his fingers. Sirius looked down at it in slight confusion, until his drunken mind absorbed what was happening and he gulped excitedly. “Sirius, I know today has already been filled with enough memories to last all of us for years, but I’m trying to make one more really special one so I hope you’ll listen to me,” he said and took a deep breath as Sirius looked down at their hands and then back up at Sirius’ earnest face.

He could tell now that Remus was serious and it made him bite his lip with anticipation. Sirius always thought Remus looked his most breathtaking when his eyes lit up with passion over something and his cheeks became all flushed with how worked up he’d made himself. The last few years of his life had been made better tenfold because he and Remus had devoted themselves to each other in a way Sirius would have never thought possible growing up. He’d had such a shitty childhood filled with fear and distrust and parents who forced him to behave like anyone other than himself and never made him feel like he was even close to good enough. But making friends like James and Remus and Peter had allowed him to be himself. And admitting his feelings for Remus had allowed him to experience love in its purest form.

Sirius tried not to get too sappy too often—he liked to leave that to Remus—but there was something about his boyfriend that made him feel safer and more loved than he ever had in his life, like he could be his whole self around Remus and never feel judged; like Remus would take care of him no matter what; like they were always meant to find each other and like, as long as they were together, they were where they were supposed to be in life. Remus made Sirius feel like the world made sense. It was at this point in his thought process that Sirius realized he’d been tuning out most of what Remus was saying.

“—and I know you didn’t mean to ruin my birthday party that year, but all that aside, what I’m really trying to say is that I think we work together, Sirius—really, really well, in fact. You’re my best friend and, I know you’ll say it’s cheesy, but you’re the love of my life and—“

Sirius had been switching his gaze between Remus’ lips and eyes the entire time he’d been speaking. And, though, it might have looked to Remus like he wasn’t paying any attention, particularly because he’d had quite a lot to drink that night, he most definitely had taken in every word Remus had just said. Sirius’ couldn’t wait any longer. His heart was beating like mad and he cupped the back of Remus’ head with one hand to pull him down so they were nose-to-nose and their foreheads were pressed together.

“Marry me,” he blurted out, bringing his other hand around to caress Remus’ cheek.

“Marr—what?” Remus asked, in complete disbelief that Sirius had just interrupted his proposal with one of his own. Remus didn’t know whether to be annoyed or overjoyed. They’d been dancing for at least three songs now and his legs were starting feel like jelly at the realization that Sirius’ words were real. “You want me to...marry you?” Remus asked, looking at Sirius with furrowed brows and a pout on his face because he thought he might actually cry from how much this moment meant to him.

“Please?” Sirius asked, sounding almost desperate now because Remus hadn’t immediately said yes and he wondered if he’d asked the question right or if his words had just come out as gibberish. “Remus John Lupin, please, will you make me the happiest bloke in all of England and marry me?” Sirius asked properly this time, squeezing Remus’ hand tight and looking up at him hopefully.

Remus took another moment to process that this was actually happening and whimpered through closed lips, making Sirius’ hands shake with worry. But then he was pulling Sirius forward and dipping his head down to smash their lips together in a desperately happy kiss, filled with passion and laughter and trembling lips.

“You bloody arse,” Remus mumbled as soon as they pulled a few centimeters apart. “I can’t believe you let me get out all that build up and then you just stole the question right out of my mouth,” Remus huffed with a small laugh and a shake of his head.

“Sorry, love. I just couldn’t wait...so...will you? Marry me, I mean? I know we don’t have a lot financially, and it might take a while to scrape together some money for a proper wedding like this, but we can get there. I promise. I’d do anything for you, Remus,” he breathed. “So...will you marry me?” Sirius repeated, just needing Remus to say yes. His head was slightly dizzy from all the drinks he’d had that evening, combined with the dancing and spinning. But he felt like his mind had never been as clear as it was at this moment, while he waited to hear the answer to the most important question he’d ever asked in his life.

Remus rolled his eyes and slipped the candy wrapper ring onto Sirius’ shaky finger. Remus was more than happy to have him in his life forevermore.

“Of _course_ it’s a yes, Pads. I don’t care if we have to craft all the decorations out of Curly Wurly wrappers and make Pete the flower girl. I want to spend all my life with you, forever and ever,” Remus smiled lovingly, his stomach filled with butterflies and his heart full of love.

“Remus...you just made me the happiest person in the world,” Sirius sighed. He melted into Remus’ arms then, clinging to his Moony as delirious happiness befell them both and they continued to dance the night away, wrapped snugly in each other’s arms. Forever had only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve had a lot of fun creating this fic (so thank you to all of you for reading!!) and I plan to do a lot of shorter ones this year, mostly wolfstar but likely some drarry, as well. Your kudos and comments mean the world to me, so thank you again for reading this fluffy little story that popped into my head and hopefully I’ll be back with something even better soon! <3

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever HP fic and it's really just a test run, so please let me know if you like it so I can write more. I love Remus/Sirius so, so much and I have so many ideas I want to try writing with them. So please let me know if you liked this fic so far and want to read more. And please feel free to let me know if you ever have any wolfstar (or drarry) prompts you want me to try out! I'm open to so many ideas and I really just want to get back into the flow of writing, so any ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading <3


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